


These Four Walls

by TheIfInLife



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Caught, Embarrassment, Fingering, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Hand Jobs, M/M, Rimming, Sexual Experimentation, Submissive Harry, Submissive Louis, Virgin Harry, Virgin Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 08:37:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 26,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2461847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIfInLife/pseuds/TheIfInLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis are both curious about their sexuality. So they try things out on each other. No strings attached. Well supposedly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [These Four Walls](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7375432) by [Beso](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beso/pseuds/Beso)



> Hey everyone! Hope you like this. Comments are food for the soul! 
> 
> Visit [my Tumblr](http://larryismyotpuniverse.tumblr.com/) if you wish!
> 
> Have a lovely day.

Louis met Harry Styles on the first day of Freshman Orientation. He showed up at Louis’ door crying like a lost puppy.

 

“Is this 306?” He’d sniffed, holding tighter to the duffle bag that was slung over his shoulder.

“Yeah. Are you Harry Styles?” Louis asked, feeling the urge to hug the crying lad.

“Yeah.” He trudged into the room and dropped his bag and the other bags that he was carrying. “So you must be my roommate?”

“Louis Tomlinson, at your service.” He’d smiled, inwardly punching himself because he sounded dumb as fuck in front of his hot new roommate. “Do you like, need help or anything?”

“Nah, this is it. The parents are already gone. Hence the ridiculous tears.” Harry’d attempted to laugh at himself.

“Hey, it’s not ridiculous to cry when your parents leave you at college for the first time. If you had been here thirty minutes ago, you would’ve seen my waterworks.” He said, watching as Harry smiled ridiculously wide at him. He had motherfucking dimples! Could this boy get any more adorable?

“I can already tell that I’m going to like you.”

-

Harry had been right. The two of them instantly hit it off. They went from being strangers one second to best friends the next. Louis’d always heard that you make your best friends in college; he never really believed it until he met Harry. He could just tell that the two of them were going to be life-long friends.

The two of them also made other friends, Niall and Zayn, the roommates from the first floor, and Liam, the mother hen who went home every single weekend due to his overwhelming homesickness. The five of them became a package deal, but Louis and Harry were even more so the package deal. They’d done everything together from the first day.

They trolled the Student Fair on the first day together, they joined Delta Chi Alpha together, and they even applied for work study jobs in the cafeteria together, eventually getting the other three to tag along so they all worked in the caf together. All of those things were great, but Louis’ favorite part about being Harry’s roommate was at night when the books were put away and it was just the two of them, getting to know each other more with every talk, every awkward moment, every old memory.

Some nights they had talks about really weird, random things like if breastfeeding mothers got awkwardly turned on when feeding their babies or the way Dr. Tracey got a camel toe when she wore those weird kakis. But some nights they talked about more personal things.

“It’s not that I hate him,” Louis’d told Harry one night. “It’s just. Daniel’s not my dad and I don’t know, my mom has been through a lot. I would kill him if he hurt her.”

“No, I understand. I was the same way with Robin.” Harry reassured him.

That was the thing that Louis loved about Harry. He never seemed to judge Louis, no matter what the subject was. He’d never admitted to anyone that he was unsure about Daniel but Harry just took it with a grain of salt. He made Louis feel better even. Right in that moment, Louis almost said it, the thing that had been plaguing his heart for a while now. He’d been having some…feelings, feelings towards guys. The kind of feelings that he should be having towards girls. He wouldn’t say the ‘g’ word until he knew for sure. But Yahoo Answers tells him that the only way to be for sure about it is to try it out with someone. And he would, if he knew anyone that would lean in that direction with him. Well actually, he knew plenty of girls who took their clothes off and got crazy with another girl because sadly, according to society, female sexuality is a kink while male sexuality is a test of their masculinity.

“What are you thinking?” Harry asked him, bright green eyes staring at him with all the sincerity in the world.

“Just…” Louis’ throat tightened up, he wasn’t ready for this talk. This talk with Harry would make or break their relationship. Either Harry will be totally cool with Louis’ curiosity with the male anatomy or he will be freaked out about sharing a room with a possibly homosexual man. And Louis really wasn’t ready to lose Harry. “Worried for midterms.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Harry patted his knee, smiling so his breathtaking dimples showed. “You’ll do fine.”

He really, really didn’t want to lose Harry.

-

Once Louis had really let himself entertain the thought of being with another guy, he really couldn’t get it out of his mind. He became obsessed with it. He looked up how to properly clean himself so he could bottom; he looked up how to make the bottom feel good when he’s on top. He’d found out that the prostate basically served as the male g-spot, the thought causing a tingle to trickle down Louis’ spine. He’d even tried to finger himself but he didn’t have any lube so he gave up and good thing too because Harry walked in not two minutes after he’d redressed himself. Louis decided self-experimenting was too risky with the constant worry of Harry getting home from class or study group so he just needed to find someone else to experiment with. Which brought him full circle. There was no one to experiment with because there were no other out guys that Louis knew of on campus. Their school didn’t even have any LGBTQIA clubs so basically he was fucked. And not in the way that he wanted to be.

It was the week before Dead Week when Louis decided that he really, really couldn’t take it anymore. He’d never really been the suffer in silence type. If something was really bothering him, he usually complained about it for days on end. This, obviously, was a bit different. But nonetheless, he was tired of keeping it inside. He had to tell someone. And the only person he trusted with this information was Harry.

“Hey Harry,” Louis started off shakily once they’d both finally put their books away. Both of them were obviously exhausted, seeing as it was nearing three am, but this was their time to talk. And if everything went badly, Louis could blame his lack of sleep for the sudden (well, if you count since about thirteen years old, sudden) feelings towards the same sex.

“Hm.” Harry was already laid back in his top bunk, looking as if he’d drop off at any moment. For a few seconds, Louis just watched him from the bottom bunk, watching the way his chest continuously rose and fell. He hoped this wouldn’t be the last conversation that he and Harry had.

“I um. I have been hiding something from you. And I tried to make it go away, believe me, I tried. But it won’t. And I think I may die if I keep it in any longer.” His voice shook nearly as bad as his hands were. His stomach was twisting with nerves, especially with the way Harry immediately sat up, looking at him seriously.

“What’s up, Lou?” He was concerned, and rightfully so. Damn Louis and his dramatics.

“I think,” Louis paused, considering how he should phrase it. He would not use the ‘g’ word, he simply would not. “I think I maybe want to try things out … with guys.”

“I’m um, could you clarify?” Harry looked stunned but also possibly happy?

“I want to shop around. You know, walk on the other side of the street. Maybe try a bit of catching instead of always being the pitcher, taste the rainbow and all that.”

“Louis, I literally have no idea what you just said.”

“I want to see what it’s like to…be with a guy.” Louis’ heart was beating dangerously fast.

“You mean like…”

“Yes Harry! Dammit, do you want me to draw you a diagram too?” He sighed exasperatedly, throwing his hands in the air because, drama major.

“Sorry.” Harry replied in a small voice, no longer making eye contact, which in effect made Louis want to punch himself in the face. “I just wanted to make sure I understood you right before…before I told you that I feel the same way.”

“Pardon?” Louis must not have heard him correctly, there’s no way.

“I feel the same way.” This time, Harry lifted his head so that he could make eye contact with Louis.

“You feel the same way about what?” No, this could not be happening. Was Louis dreaming? Maybe he’d actually fallen asleep doing his calculus (which, who the hell needed calculus on Broadway? No one, that’s who,) prep for the upcoming final and this was all one gigantic dream. There was no way that his insanely hot roommate would be possibly into guys too. Things just never happened like that.

“I want to see what it’s like with a guy too. Do I need to draw you a diagram, Louis?” He mocked, and for a second, the two of them just sat there laughing. And then when the laughter died down, the seriousness of the situation settled over them.

“So um, what are we going to do about this then?” The exhaustion Louis felt was making him feel braver than he actually was.

“What do you mean?” Harry seemed so innocent, like a baby deer. For a moment, Louis chuckled to himself because Harry really was like a baby deer just learning to walk, stumbling all over the place, looking all wide-eyed and adorable. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, I’m just so tired, I’m getting slightly loopy.” Louis shook his head, back to business. If they were both curious, why not take advantage of that? “I think we should learn the ropes. With each other.”

“Alright,” Harry sighed, clasping his hands together. “You’re doing that thing you do when you’re unsure about something. You say something that could have a secondary meaning if you need to get yourself out of it but I’m telling you that if you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, we need to talk straight up. No confusing secondary meanings, no beating around the bush. We need to have a frank conversation right now.”

“But I don’t know any Franks.”

“Louis.” Harry reprimanded.

“Okay, okay.” He held his hands up in surrender. “I have a proposition for you.”

“’m listening.”

“So you want to know what it’s like with a guy. I also want to know what it’s like with a guy… They say that you won’t know until you try it. So maybe we could, I don’t know, try stuff together? Like sex stuff. Like guy on guy sex stuff. And I mean, they always say that college is the time for experimenting so maybe we could experiment together…if you want.”

“So basically you want to be fuck buddies.”

“No,” Louis cringed. He really didn’t like that term, it sounded so demeaning and abusive. “More like friends with benefits.”

“Well,” Harry sighed after a long moment of silence. “I don’t know. I feel kind of swamped with finals coming up and Christmas coming up and everything. It’s not that I don’t want to it’s just like – “

“Okay, I get that. I’m stressed about finals too. How about we both take some time to think on it? We can talk more about it when we get back next semester.”

“Sounds good to me. Hey do you think that Niall would mind if I just got him a giant thing of Nutella for Christmas because I’m running out of ideas.”

And so that’s how it went. For the rest of the semester, neither of them talked about their three am conversation. The only thing that even convinced Louis that he hadn’t dreamt the whole thing up was the shopping trip in which Harry bought a sketch pad and drawing pencils for Zayn, a gift card to Starbucks for Liam and a giant thing of Nutella for Niall for Christmas.

Dead Week was appropriately named, Louis found out. At first he thought that everyone was just being dramatic about it but when it came upon him, he knew that it was not just hype. He spent nearly the whole week in the same pair of sweat pants and thick hoodie. If he wasn’t at the library, he was in his room or possibly Niall and Zayn’s room and rarely, in Liam’s room (he had a crazy roommate) studying. Once in a while, he dragged himself to the caf for work or to eat something. Other than that, his brain felt fried but even still, he couldn’t stop going over things, stressing over all of his finals as a last ditch effort to bring his grades up.

For the first time since they met, Harry was barely around. He was super stressed over finals. Louis was convinced that he’d permanently moved into his comp professor’s office, going over his final paper again and again.

Before he knew it, Harry was gone for the semester, headed to the train station to take a train back to Cheshire while Louis was stuck up at the school, cleaning out his car so his mom wouldn’t have his head when she saw the mess he let it get. He did call Harry when he was about half way home, just because he was exhausted and needed something to keep him awake. Harry’s voice instantly did the trick,

“Miss me already Lou?” He answered, sounding absolutely delighted. He must’ve already made it home; Louis could hear women in the background, talking cheerily.

“You know it Hazza.” Louis smiled into his phone and he switched lanes on the highway.

“Wait, you’re driving aren’t you?”

“Uh.”

“Louis William Tomlinson. I will not let you distract yourself. Hang up on me right now.” He demanded. Louis imagined he even stomped his foot, with that adorable little angry pout that he could never say no to.

“But Harry,” Louis complained. “I’m tired and I need you to keep me awake.”

“Fine, at least put me on speaker and put the phone down.”

“Yes mom.” Louis rolled his eyes, smiling fondly because his best friend was an absolute loser.

They chatted for most of the rest of Louis’ drive home. Eventually, Harry had actually fallen asleep while on the phone with him and though Louis would never admit it to anyone ever; he quite enjoyed the little snuffling sounds that Harry made while he was sleeping.

Louis didn’t realize how much he missed being home until he walked in the door and was tackled by the twins. They seemed to have grown so much since he last saw them. Jay and Daniel were being as couple-y as ever which Louis was still kind of not okay with but Harry remains the only person that he ever told about that.

The days seem to drag on forever. As much as he loved and missed his family, it had only been about five days but he already missed Harry and the other lads dearly. He couldn’t wait to be back with them for the next semester. And he wondered what Harry was thinking about the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing that Louis proposed. Part of him thinks that Harry totally hates the idea and is too nice to just tell him that. Or maybe it really was finals holding Harry back. Louis could not have imagined the stress that would have been added, had they started fooling around. Not that fooling around with Harry would be stressful, more just the stress of figuring himself out, finding out what he really liked, that is what would be stressful. But even that aside, it seemed that Harry was hesitant about something. Louis vowed to text him about it after New Year’s if they still hadn’t talked about it.

His nineteenth birthday was great. Jay got him a new IPhone since his screen was basically shattered. On top of that, she got him a bunch of gift cards to the restaurants close to campus. The twins drew pictures of him (big butt included); Fiz gave him a voucher that stated that just once she would do one of the chores of his choosing for him. Lottie gave him a card with a little note that said she’d give him another present later that night. The best part of his day though, was the call he got from Harry. He’d answered the phone and Harry sang Happy Birthday to him and then went on a long spiel about how lucky he was to have such an amazing roommate like Louis. Louis will deny it to his dying day but he may or may not have teared up just slightly.

Louis was just about to go bed when Lottie knocked on his bedroom door. “Shouldn’t you be in bed? Santa’s going to be here soon.”

“Oh please,” Lottie scoffed, venturing inside his room and sitting down on his bed. “Here is the present I made you.”

Louis sat up in his bed, hand reaching out and taking the bracelet from her. He examined the beads, brow furrowed. She made him a rainbow bracelet. “What’s this then?”

“It’s a bracelet.”

“I see that. But I mean, you know what the rainbow means right?”

“Of course I know what it means, I’m not dense.” She tucked a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear, smiling at him.

“Lottie, this is nice but I’m not – “

“Alright, Louis, let me break it down for you,” She said, turning to face him seriously. “I’ve known you my entire life. I may be younger than you but I’m not stupid. I’ve suspected for a while but ever since you went to college, all you can talk about is that Harry guy. And the whole break you’ve been glued to your phone with this stupid smile plastered all over your face.”

“Lottie, I don’t know what to say.” He stared at the bracelet, feeling it burn a hole into his hand.

“Just,” She said. “Take the bracelet and know that I accept you, no matter what that means. Happy Birthday big brother.”

Louis cried himself to sleep, clutching at the stupid rainbow bracelet.

Christmas day was nice. The Tomlinson family sat around after opening presents just enjoying each other’s presence. He’d thought that things may be awkward with Lottie after the previous night but she didn’t treat him any differently. Which, what even was that? He decided not to dwell on it. It was Christmas; time to be jolly and all that.

All the lads texted him to have a happy Christmas and such which reminded him of how much he really missed all of them. He especially hated being away from Harry. They’d called each other at least once a day because it may be pathetic but he had gotten addicted to the smile that he could hear in Harry’s voice every time that they talked. If it made him pathetic, then Harry was just as pathetic as he was. He’d never had a best friend quite like Harry.

New Year’s was a fucking blast. He’d gotten together with Stan and a few of his old mates from high school and got absolutely smashed. People always talk a big game about the parties in college but Stan threw one wicked party. Louis had no idea what the hell he was even drinking half the time (which in hindsight, was dumb as fuck) but all he knew was that it was loosening him up. He even found himself a hot guy to chat up. Of course, the guy didn’t take it too kindly that Louis kept calling him Harry so that fizzled out pretty quickly.

By the time Louis registered that people were counting down, he was seeing double. The room was spinning and not in a good way. He needed to find Stan and get to a quiet place to go to sleep. He’d puke if he kept his eyes open for much longer.

Belatedly, Louis realized that his phone was vibrating in his pocket. After sliding it out of his pocket and dropping it on the ground three times before securing it in his hand, Louis blurrily read the missed calls. Hazza. Of course Harry would call him at midnight. He struggled through it but eventually, he was calling Harry back.

“You,” He said when Harry answered the phone.

“Lou! Happy New Year’s! I hope – “

“Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah such and such.”

“You’re drunk.” There’s a bit of a smile in his voice, a teasing nature.

“Yessirree, I suurrely am!” The world stopped spinning just a bit, like Harry’s voice had grounded him. Well, not completely. “And you, my beautiful roommate, are sober. Lame.”

“Some of us have to be up early tomorrow, you know.”

“Well if you have tuh be up so early, why are ya talking tuh me then?” Louis tripped on a step that he was attempted to walk up, causing him to nearly fall backwards. By some act of God, Louis was able to right himself before any serious injuries occurred.

“You okay? It sounded like you fell or something.” If Louis weren’t so entirely smashed, he probably would have blushed a bit with the concern that was obvious in Harry’s voice. Instead, he decided to make a fool of himself.

“Just for you my baby deer.” When Louis heard Harry gasp, even through his drunken haze, his heart started beating a little faster.

“Ha ha, very funny. Listen, I’m going to go. Like I said, I have to be up early. Just – make smart decisions okay? I’ll call you tomorrow to make sure you’re still alive.”

“Don’t leave me hangin!”

They hung up and Louis had to fight to not call him back. He just really enjoyed talking to him.

Louis realized that he was in the bathroom but he was too drunk to actually pick himself up and find a bed to pass out in. So the bathtub would have to suffice.

-

Harry didn’t call, he texted. Other than that, they acted like the ‘drunkenly say I’m falling for you’ thing didn’t happen. Which Louis is glad for because he doesn’t know what the hell he was thinking, saying something like that. He most definitely wasn’t falling for Harry. No, that wasn’t a thing. God, he was so stupid.

The rest of Holiday seemed like it went by too fast, yet not fast enough. He was excited to be back with his friends but he was definitely not excited for that eight am class, even if it was the easiest class of the drama department, costuming. A few days after New Year’s, Niall had texted saying that they were going to get smashed on the Irish Vodka his brother got him. Liam had set up for the five of them to go bowling the first weekend back, which meant that he was actually going to stay for an entire weekend. Zayn drew them all sketches that he thought represented them which Louis was actually pretty stoked about. And Harry had nothing really special planned but Louis just couldn’t wait to see him.

The day that they all make it back on campus, they seemed to slip back into each other like there had been no time apart. It was all great fun. They had all agreed to come back to campus with an extra day before classes officially started up again so they could hang out, stress free.

Louis distracted himself by taking a few small sips of the Vodka that Niall brought back, not enough to get drunk, just to taste. And Louis had to admit, the Irish knew their way about alcohol. He’d never tasted alcohol so smooth and rough at the same time. Harry and Zayn had gone to Zayn and Niall’s room to talk over some things about a class that they had together this semester and Liam, being the Engineering major that he was, had gone off to meet with his Engineering Club mates. So much for hanging out together before the new semester.

“Barbra texted me about hanging out today.” Niall said before taking a long swig from his bottle. The two were sat in the parlor of the boys dorms, watching some shit telly and waiting for the day to pass them by.

“What the fuck are you doing here then?” Louis demanded. “I may be g-“ Holy shit. Louis stopped in his tracks, realizing that he was about to say ‘I may be gay but B is sexy as fuck’. Shit. Shit Niall was staring at him. Fuck. Say something. “G-great company but I’m no Barbra. Go on then.”

“Nah it’s fine, we all said – “

“Seriously Niall, go.” There wasn’t room for discussion.

“Fine. You swear you won’t be upset?” Niall was already up, smoothing out his shirt and fixing his hair.

“Here, give me the bottle, I’ll take it back to your room. You go impress the mismatched socks off of your girl.”

Their room wasn’t too far from the lobby, just a short walk actually. Just as Louis was about to open the door, he heard Harry’s voice loud and clear,

“I really, really like him though.” And okay, eavesdropping was totally wrong. But the thought of Harry liking some guy had Louis’ stomach twisting in a very bad way.

“Does he like you too?” Zayn’s quiet voice was barely heard through the thick door so Louis pressed his ear to door, straining to hear some more. He had to know all about this other guy so Louis could know how to be better than him.

“I don’t know. He’s so confusing.” Harry sighed, sounding defeated. “I’m just so torn. I know I’ll get hurt if we do, but I really, really want to.”

Okay what the hell?! Louis kind of felt like he was being cheated on. Harry was sitting there, letting Louis make a fool of himself by suggesting that they experiment together when all along Harry had another guy that he was doing things with. Or at least thinking of doing things with. He was only mad for a split second before a new determination struck in his mind. Harry hadn’t done anything with this other guy so maybe if Louis beat the other guy to it, and he rocked Harry’s world, then Harry would just forget all about this other guy.

He left, forgetting all about the Vodka and bringing it down to his and Harry’s room. He was determined. He went through and cleaned his entire side of the room, ready to woo Harry, to show him that Louis was the one he wanted to be friends with benefits with, and not some other guy who was probably ugly. Okay maybe not, but in Louis’ mind, this other guy was ugly as hell and Louis was way more attractive than him, with a better arse most definitely.

Harry got back to their room a little less than an hour later, stunned into silence at the clean state of the room. “Oh my god, Louis, you cleaned?”

“Yup,” He smiled. “I figured it’s about time that you had a roommate who could keep up with you.”

“Oh.” It was an awkward response. Harry was shifting from one foot to the next awkwardly like he wasn’t sure what to do. “So listen um, about that talk that we had that one time, I say yes.”

“You mean the time when I asked if you were secretly raised by giants? I knew it.” Damn it! He hadn’t meant to tease Harry, fuck he was supposed to seduce him so successfully, and he would never want anyone else. Granted, he’d never tried to seduce anyone before, he was as virgin as they come but he didn’t think it would be that hard. He wanted to be an actor. This was just practice. And if he couldn’t even act like he knew how to be sexy with Harry, how the hell was he supposed to do it in front of an audience?

“No you twat!” Harry shoved him and what the fuck? When did Harry come to sit next to him on the bed? Fuck. Nerves twisted around in Louis’ stomach. “I meant, you know, the one talk that we had last semester about the whole…thing.”

“You mean Liam and Zayn?” He tried weakly. He was failing. He was failing so hard.

“What? No. What about Liam and Zayn? No, don’t answer that. I want to talk about us – “

“Oh god, Harry, I really am not good with feelings, let’s just – “ Panic constricted Louis, freezing him in his spot on his bed.

“God fucking dammit, Louis you are so dense. I want to be friends with benefits with you. Jesus Christ, you make everything so difficult.” Harry burst out, looking at him wildly, blushing something fierce.

“You – oh.” He was rendered speechless.

After a full minute of silence had gone by, Harry had had enough. “Would it be okay if we started with kissing? I mean not like in a couple-y way. Because obviously we aren’t a couple. I mean unless it makes you uncomfortable because that’s what matters is your comfort and I think that – “

Louis had meant for their first kiss to be a little more intense. He imagined it in his head going something like, Harry or himself rambling on about something stupid when they both looked at each other and realized that their faces were basically touching and then they would stare into each other’s eyes intensely as they both slowly leaned in until their lips touched. But no, Louis had to fuck it all up and go in for the sneak attack.

Louis didn’t really dwell on it for long though, all of his thoughts muddled together. Harry’s lips were soft, despite being just a bit chapped due to the cold weather. Kissing Harry was like expecting vegetables for dinner and getting ice cream, like waking up on pay day, like getting everything on your Christmas wish list and even more that you didn’t know you wanted.

Harry’s big hands cupped at the back of Louis’ head, lightly gripping at the hairs of the nape of his neck. Louis wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do with his hands so they kind of flailed everywhere, resting briefly on his own legs, before moving to Harry’s, but then he was worried that Harry would get freaked out by that so he moved them to Harry’s hair which felt awkward because their arms were awkwardly crossing over each other, so he settled for keeping them on Harry’s arms. Harry had nice biceps, even if Louis’ were bigger. For some reason, this felt more intimate to Louis and he liked it.

Louis’ tongue slipped out of his mouth, sliding testily across Harry’s bottom lip.

“Mm,” Harry moaned quietly. Harry actually moaned. Louis’ dick went from mostly soft to rock hard in the span of a second. He’d never reacted that strongly to anything ever, he tensed up, just at the feeling of getting that hard that quickly. “Sorry, sorry,” Harry apologized, pulling back and blushing a deep red on every inch of his face.

“What? Why?” Louis opened his eyes just in time to stop Harry from getting up off of his bed. “C’mon don’t leave, what’s wrong?”

“I was um, being…noisy. And you got all weird.” He admitted, twisting his hands in his lap.

“No, God, that was hot. Don’t – I wasn’t – it was. You got me hard.” Now it was Louis’ turn to bring his hands to his lap, but he was mostly trying to shield his embarrassingly quick reacting to a bit of kissing.

“Oh.” Harry’s eyes travelled down to Louis’ lap, widening almost comically when he saw the obvious tent in Louis’ pants, poorly covered by his hands. Harry gulped loudly and reached out a hand.

Louis nearly died at the thought of Harry actually touching him. But he surprised both of them by instead grabbing at Louis’ hand. “Don’t you want to – touch it?” God, Louis is a failure. Failure. He lacks everything that could ever constitute as sexy. He should just give up on being an actor. He should drop out of school and build a nice little cardboard box next to Patches’ cardboard house. He’ll be the other homeless guy of Doncaster.

“Um I think that maybe we should just take this one step at a time.” Harry was staring at it, basically talking to his dick instead of actually talking to Louis. For the first time since this whole awkward mess started, Louis glanced down at Harry’s crotch, wondering if he is even turned on at all. Louis inwardly gasped when he saw the bulge in Harry’s trousers, proving that he was in the same boat as Louis.

“Okay,” Even if Harry was turned on, Louis didn’t want to force him to do anything, after all, they were experimenting here. “I’ll just go take – “

“No!” Harry nearly yelled, causing both of them to jump. “Don’t go. It’s not that I don’t want to … you know. It’s just; I’m not quite ready to touch yet…Maybe we could like do that thing where like, we rub against each other until we get off. I mean, if you want to. If you aren’t ready or whatever, then you can go and do whatever you were going to do and I’ll stay here and take care of this and then we can try another time. Or not at all if you don’t want to.”

“Harry,” Louis smiled fondly at the blushing, rambling boy. He’s not sure who has been more awkward with this, himself or Harry. But Harry’s definitely the cuter one of the two of them, especially when even his dimples get all blushy. It’s heart-warming sight honestly. “Of course I want to. It’s called grinding by the way.”

“O-oh.” For a moment, the two of them just sat there, letting the information that the both of them were hard and up for grinding on each other, hang over their heads. “So how are we going to do this?”

“Well,” Louis started, blush in his own cheeks. As blushy and awkward as this was, he loved every single second of it. “One of us can lay down and the other will like get on top of them and well, grind down.”

“I know how it goes Louis,” Harry blushed. “I meant like, who’s going to be on top? Like not – you know what I mean.”

“You can if you want.”

“Actually um, is it okay if you are? I mean, I would rather not be in control. For now. Later I might want that but for now. Is that okay?” He seemed to get rather nervous and Louis would not have that.

“Of course, yeah. Just, here.” Louis pushed at Harry’s shoulder until Harry was flat on his back in Louis’ bed. “Either I can like, straddle you or you can spread your legs and I can get be-“ Louis hadn’t even finished his sentence and Harry’s legs were spread. Jesus fuck, this kid was going to kill him. Harry Styles was officially going to be the death of him.

“Okay…” Louis whispered to himself as he fit himself between Harry’s legs, slowly lowering until he could feel Harry’s hard cock pressing into his. The pressure was light in case Harry decided he didn’t want to do this anymore. Slowly, Louis’ eyes dragged away from where they were touching, up up up, until he met Harry’s eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” It was a simple whisper but it had Louis’ heart sky rocketing.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to Harry’s. Louis couldn’t even describe what he was feeling. He sort of felt like he may explode, this was all so much at once. He was on top of a hot boy, but even more than that, he was on top of Harry. Harry wanted this, he could feel the evidence of that. He didn’t even know how that made him feel, like he was nervous and excited, his thoughts were racing nearly as fast as the beat of his heart.

Harry opened his mouth the very second that Louis’ tongue touched his bottom lip, and then their tongues were tracing the paths of each other’s mouths and it was so fucking hot. Louis had snogged a few girls back in high school and he despised it. He did not want any of their tongues in his mouth, but Harry, something about Harry had his whole body on fire.

His hips started moving on their own accord, just moving, not really applying pressure. Harry mewled and Louis’ answering moan was a lot higher pitched than he’d ever admit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, they’d barely even done anything and he was already getting himself so worked up. He tore his mouth from Harry’s, just to take a second to breathe. When he looked down to Harry, his green eyes were blown out with lust, it was so fucking hot. Everything about this moment with Harry, everything about Harry was so hot.

“Louis,” Harry breathed, hands coming up to grip at Louis’ shoulders.

“Hm?” His pitch had raised again as he kept moving against Harry. Fuck, Louis could just feel that Harry had a big dick, he could feel the monster that was begging to be released.

“More. Like, go harder.” Even in the moment, Harry managed to be awkward and Louis loved it. It melted his heart on whole other level. But aside from that, Harry was asking him to go harder which had Louis’ cock twitching in his pants.

Of course, Louis obliged, grinding down really hard onto Harry just to hear his reaction.

“Yeah,” Harry moaned loudly, his own hips bucking into it. “Like that.”

So Louis kept up the same pressure, continuously grinding down, loving the way that Harry’s thighs seemed to clamp tighter around him with every roll of Louis’ hips. At first, Louis couldn’t even tell that Harry was holding sounds back but one look at Harry’s blush-ridden, lip bitten face, and he knew.

“You can,” Louis panted through the sentence, sudden feeling kind of overwhelmed. “You can be louder. It’s okay.”

Harry seemed to go even redder at that but he seemed to be trying to get comfortable with being vocal. He whined but he still seemed slightly uncomfortable. So Louis decided that instead of staring down at Harry like he had been, he would just turn his attention to the lovely pale neck that was all exposed for him. He attached his lips to a spot on Harry’s next, hips never ceasing. Harry’s body went tense underneath him as he sucked a mark onto his neck.

“You okay?” Louis whispered, breath tickling Harry’s ear.

“Yeah,” Harry’s breathing had turned harsh and Louis worried that maybe they needed to find his inhaler. “Feels good…I think…Louis I’m sorry, but I think I’m going to come soon.”

“It’s okay, you can come whenever you need to baby.” He wasn’t sure where the whole ‘baby’ thing had come from but Harry keened at the nickname so he figured he did well. Plus, it felt good to him to call Harry baby. He went back to sucking marks onto Harry’s neck, hoping that other guy would see them and know that he was too late, Harry was his. At that thought, Louis ground down onto Harry extra hard, a growl practically ripping from his throat.

“Oh god!” Harry nearly shouted, legs clamping a death grip around Louis, ankles hooked together behind him. “I’m so close, Lou. Please…are you,” He swallowed audibly. “Are you gonna come soon?”

“Yeah Haz.” It was true, he’d been so focused on making this good for Harry and pleasing Harry that he didn’t even notice the way he ached, the way his stomach muscles were contracting with how close he was.

A few moments later, Harry’s body practically seized up, releasing a loud, “Louis!” into their room. It was the absolute hottest thing that Louis had ever seen or heard in his entire life. And that’s saying something. He may be a virgin (well, now an experienced virgin thank you very much) his has watched countless hours of porn (god bless Jake Bass’ soul).

That, combined with the fact that it was his name that Harry had yelled out, mid orgasm, had Louis’ hips stuttering against Harry’s softening cock. He captured Harry’s lips in his own, biting down probably a bit too harshly on Harry’s bottom lip as he came. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That’s all that was going through his mind as his body zinged with pleasure, tingling everywhere.

For a while, the two of them snogged lazily, neither of them willing to move. Eventually though, the stickiness in Louis’ pants was beginning to get a bit uncomfortable.

“’M gonna go jump in the shower.”

“’Kay.” Harry’s voice sounded raw with exhaustion. It should not have been as hot as it was.

Louis’ shower was honestly longer than it needed to be. But he felt weird. He loved what just happened between him and Harry, he really, really did. He’d do it over any day of the week. And he really wanted to continue doing things with Harry. But part of him was…sad. He couldn’t explain it so he just shoved it away. He chalked it up to the fact that he actually didn’t get to touch Harry. That was how he’d know anyway. Like he couldn’t be sure about the whole ‘g’ thing until he’d at least touched someone else’s dick besides his own.

-

Louis and Liam were tucked away in Liam’s room (his roommate was off fucking his girlfriend) studying for the test coming up in their General Science class. It was nice. Things were getting so complicated with the five of them. There were things going on between he and Harry, Louis suspected that something was going down between Liam and Zayn, Niall and Zayn even got into a disagreement after Niall brought Barbra back to their room, Harry and Zayn kept sneaking off together and doing god knows what, it felt like the only combination that didn’t have some sort of unspoken beef with each other was he and Liam.

“Remember PMAT, Louis that is what Dr. Kretz told us, PMAT.”

“Right, Prophase, Metaphase, Anaphase, Telaphase. Right?”

“Good. Alright, switch again – “

“Liam,” Louis complained. “We’ve been studying for like three hours. C’mon. A break at least. Please?”

“Fine.”

They put a bit of Castle on the telly and actually watched it for a good ten minutes.

“Are you and Harry fucking?” It was so blunt, Louis choked on air.

“What? What makes you say that?” They had never really fully even talked about what the perimeters of their situation were. Do they tell people? Are they on the DL? Is Harry on the DL? So Louis’ first reaction is to deny everything. Well, kind of. The best way to not lie is to go around the subject and make them think you deny it, when in all actuality, you don’t deny or confirm anything.

“That’s not an answer.” Fuck Liam.

“Are you and Zayn fucking?” Diversion. Next best option. And considering that Liam is really looking like the guy who stepped in it, the diversion worked.

“How did you find out?” He was so genuinely surprised, Louis hugged him.

“Liam I’m close friends with both of you. And also I’m not blind. But don’t worry, I don’t think that the others have noticed. Niall’s so gone for B that he wouldn’t notice if you guys fucked right in front of him.”

“It’s not just that though.” His voice was quiet, stilled with contentment.

“What do you mean? I’m confused.”

“It’s not just fucking. We’re together.”

“Ew so you mean like feelings and stuff.” He playfully turned up his nose.

“Shut up, it’s better with feelings. Like knowing that we love each other makes the sex much better. Well, he hasn’t used the big ‘l’ word yet but he will. The painting he gave me for Christmas had a bunch of realistic hearts ingrained into the engineering images and the music notes. He claimed it was because I have so much love for my family but I see through it. I know him. But the point is, yes we get off together, but he also lets me come to his room when my roommate’s being a dick or when I miss home too much, and I listen when he rants about the ‘holier than thou’ bitch in his Art History class or encourage him to dye that streak of blonde into his quiff simply because he wanted to.”

“God that was your idea?” Louis laughed. Liam didn’t answer. He was a lot smarter than people gave him credit for. “I still don’t understand the painting he gave me but he wanted me to try and figure out what it meant.”

“I love the both of you, you know. I just don’t want to see you or Harry get hurt.”

“I could say the same to you, you know.”

“I know.”

“So how about that study guide?”

It plagued Louis for the rest of the night. How had Liam picked up on it? They were just having sexual relations that’s all. Was like, written on his and Harry’s faces or some shit? Maybe they should tune it down a bit.

Of course, that didn’t happen. In fact they turned it up. They’d been fooling around for nearly a month and Harry was so fucking into it, it turned Louis to jelly every time he thought about it. They grinded every single night, sometimes twice in one night. And occasionally, Louis was wake up with Harry straddling his hips, grinding down onto him sleepily. Those were probably Louis’ favorite times.

But the thing that never changed was that after every single time, Louis got sad. He’d even cried in his ‘after grinding shower’ once. It was frustrating because he didn’t even know why. It was like, Harry would crawl into his bed or vice versa and Louis would be like the happiest person there probably ever was and then Louis would drag himself to the shower and then to his bed. He’d watch Harry fall asleep on his own bed and Louis’ heart always felt so heavy.

Before he even knew it, it was Harry’s birthday. This time, Louis woke Harry up by grinding down onto him, it was hot. He could see the appeal in watching the unabashed feelings cross over Harry’s sleep ridden face. It did make him a bit self-conscience about what he looked like when Harry did this to him, but he put that away for the moment. This day was about Harry.

The four of them had planned to take Harry out for dinner at Applebee’s and then for some ice cream at Baskin Robin’s. And the best part was that Louis called Gemma and got her to agree to come to campus and surprise Harry. Harry’s face when he saw his big sister was absolutely priceless. Louis bubbled with pride that he’d made his Harry’s birthday an awesome one.

Louis observed that while they were at Applebee’s, Liam and Zayn kept stealing looks at each other, it was kind of sweet. Louis hated feelings but if he were being honest with himself, he wanted something like they had so badly. He longed for it. He’d never admit that though.

At Baskin Robin’s, Harry kept rubbing his thigh under the table, dangerously close. Louis couldn’t do anything except sit there, frozen. Gemma was on Harry’s other side, thankfully very engrossed in a conversation with Niall about Irish football teams. Normally, Louis would be all up in that conversation but he had lost the ability to speak. Damn Harry and his satisfied smirk.

He wanted to leave his own party pretty quickly. Harry made up some weak excuse as to why Louis had to come with him too. As soon as they were safely locked in their dorm room, Louis was planning on scolding Harry for giving him a semi but he didn’t even have time. Harry pushed him backwards until he was sitting on his bottom bunk and he crawled straight into Louis’ lap, kissing at his neck.

“Babe,” Louis gulped. “What’s gotten into you tonight? Not that I don’t love it because I do.”

“For my birthday,” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear, causing goosebumps the prick Louis’ skin. “I want to give you a present.”

“H-Harry, that doesn’t make sense,” Louis stuttered, eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head when Harry started grinding down on him. “You get presents on your birthday, not me.”

“Just take off your clothes.” He demanded. And then he softened. “If you’re comfortable with that of course. I don’t want to pressure you or anything.”

“C-can we be naked together?” He asked nervously. It wasn’t that he didn’t want whatever amazing thing that Harry had planned. It was just that, he’d always been a little self-conscious about his body, he didn’t want to be completely naked if Harry was completely clothed. He needed them to vulnerable together.

“Of course, yeah.” He climbed off of Louis’ lap, already stripping. Nakedness was like second nature to Harry, that was something he’d learned after about a week of being his roommate. But of course, Louis never even let himself look because he thought it’d be a creeper move. He just wished he was that comfortable with his body.

It was quiet aside from the ruffling of clothes and the undoing of zippers and buttons. And then they were both naked. Louis was actually naked with another person, another guy, with Harry. He was so nervously excited.

“So um, what exactly did you have in mind?” Louis asked, sitting back on the bed, trying hard not to think about the fact that Harry’s dick was close to his face. Which, while on that note, Louis was right, Harry was eight inches easy. Another wave of self-consciousness passed through Louis. His cock barely reached the six inch mark.

“I want to give you a hand job. Like proper.” Harry sat next to Louis on the bed, hand on his bare thigh.

“Harry,” Louis said, throat closing with sudden nerves.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You don’t have to.” Harry went even softer, removing his hand from Louis’ thigh. Louis’ throat closed even more, and there it was, that sad feeling he always got after they fooled around.

“I’m,” Louis croaked, knowing he needed to say something. “Not hot.”

“Baby,” It was the first time that Harry had called him that. It had Louis melting next to Harry. And it was then that Harry finally noticed that Louis was covering up his cock. “You’re the hottest guy I’ve ever met, honest. You are so fucking fit, it give me chills. And,” Harry rested his hand over Louis’ that were covering his cock. “If this is about size, then let me tell you, I don’t give a fuck if you have a two inch penis, I’ll love whatever we do because it happened with you.”

“You swear you won’t laugh or like, tell other people about this?” Louis never really felt like he had a small dick before but compared to Harry, he was practically microscopic.

“Louis, you know I would never do that.” Harry kissed him and it felt way more intimate than anything they’d ever done. More intimate than sitting there with each other in the nude. But it was the cure for Louis’ insecurity. “Let’s just lay down. If you want.”

They laid next to each other for a moment and Louis wondered if this was how all friends with benefits arrangements worked. Did they always comfort each other about their sexual insecurities? Did they even make eye contact? Were he and Harry doing it wrong? Maybe. But he liked him and Harry’s way of things.

“Can I touch you?” Harry’s voice was nearly a whisper. Louis gulped but nodded.

The moment when Harry’s big hand engulfed Louis’ cock was the most glorious moment of Louis’ life.

“Haa.” Louis exhaled, tensing just from the grip. He blushed heavily because this was so much different than grinding on Harry and Harry was watching him intensely. He loved being the center of attention and even more so, the center of Harry’s attention but this wasn’t some scripted play or silly joke, this was Harry’s hand moving on Louis’ cock.

“Is this okay?” Harry whispered, looking to Louis’ eyes.

“Mhm.” Louis replied breathily. He was sporadically moving his hips, fucking Harry’s fist, simply because he couldn’t help it. “God, Harry.”

“Am I…Am I doing okay?” Harry asked, blushing. He kept moving his fist over Louis’ cock with no real technique but it was the best (okay the only, but still) hand job that Louis had ever received.

“Yeah, don’t stop.” His reply came in pants. Once he had managed to gain his breath a little, Louis attacked Harry’s lips. “Doing-doing great.” He pulled back just long enough to reassure Harry and then he was back at his lips.

“You’re so fucking hot like this Lou.” Harry bit his lip at the admission. “I can’t believe you can’t see how beautiful you are.”

“G-give me your hand.” Louis struggled through the sentence, grabbing Harry’s hand away from his cock. Harry gave him a confused look but Louis just continued, bringing Harry’s hand up to his mouth. He licked at Harry’s palm and brought it back down to his cock. “’s better this way.” He explained.

“Fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t even think about – “ Harry was cut off by Louis’ rough moan.

Louis was starting to writhe a bit, flushing at the tips of his ears. Harry decided he wanted to finish the up, he couldn’t wait to see Louis’ orgasm face, and it was one of his literal favorite things. His eyes got all squinty which brought out the crinkles by them, and his entire body tensed and flushed. His lips were always caught between his teeth for the entirety of it. It was fucking sexy.

Harry gripped Louis tighter, wanking him faster and harder. He watched as Louis’ eyes started to squint, body growing more and more tense.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come. “ Louis gasped out, his sweaty fringe sticking beautifully to his face.

“C’mon Lou,” Harry chanted, pressing kisses to his face and neck as his hand furiously worked Louis’ length. Louis’ cock nearly looked purple at the head. He was whining so loud the guys in the rooms next to theirs could most likely hear it.

Louis released a feminine sounding groan and his body went completely still as the most intense orgasm of his life washed over him. Come spilled out onto Harry’s hand, dripping down onto Louis’ bed. His entire body tingled and twitched, stars appeared behind his eyelids and his hand gripped Harry’s bicep so hard, there would probably be bruises.

It was still for a long few moments as Louis calmed from the world-rocking orgasm. All that could be heard were the harsh breaths from Louis and the calm in and out of Harry’s breathing. It was getting dark in their room as the sun set, light from the street light cascading over them through the blinds of their window.

“So that was good right?” Harry was the first to break the still silence.

“You kidding me? That was fantastic. I literally thought I was going to die for a second there. It was that good.”

“Stop,” Harry blushed, shifting around on the bed. As he shifted, Harry’s (still very hard) cock rubbed up against Louis’ bare thigh.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Louis said, feeling like an idiot because he totally planned to return the favor and then he just got so wrapped up in what he was feeling that he totally forgot. “Here, let me do you.”

“You don’t have to,” Harry was quick to say. “I’m so close anyway, I could just finish myself off. Unless you like, don’t want to see me do that.”

“Shut up,” Louis kissed him, fond smile on his lips. “I would love to see you touch yourself. Some other time. Right now, I want to get my hands on you.”

Louis gasped the first time he fit his hand around Harry. “You are so big.” Louis forcibly squashed down another wave of insecurity in favor of focusing on Harry.

He wasn’t lying. Harry seemed so close to teetering over the edge that it almost looked painful. It felt weird to Louis to have a cock in his hand. Harry certainly felt different than he did. He was longer and just a bit thicker. It was odd but Louis loved it. He couldn’t get enough of it. In fact, he’d done the same thing as Harry and forgot to lick at his palm to ease the dry pull. But instead of licking his palm, Louis just used the precome that was near-constantly dripping from Harry. It seemed that Harry was one of those that produced hellish amounts of precome and honestly, Louis couldn’t think of anything hotter.

Louis’ hand slid up and down Harry’s shaft quickly. It was clear that he was dangerously close, he kept doing that thing he does with his eyebrows every time he gets close. Louis felt weird that he actually knew things like that or that Harry popped his ankles when he was close or that Harry loved to be the dominant one when they kissed or that Harry had a few pairs of jeans that he actually called his “Fuck my thighs” jeans (and Louis has certainly thought about it).

“Come, gonna come.” He breathed. A nervous excited tingle ran down Louis’ spine. He was about to see another guy’s come for the first time, to feel it, to maybe even taste it. With renewed haste, Louis racked his brain, thinking of things that he liked to do to himself when he was wanking. Thumb over the head, yes that was his favorite.

Harry only lasted two thumb strokes before he was wailing and coming everywhere.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,” Harry just kept mumbling as he twitched through his orgasm.

Louis sat back on his knees staring at his hand that was covered in Harry’s come. It felt weird but he really, really liked it. He was itching to taste it though. But Harry was right there and what if Harry thought that was weird or disgusting or something?

“Would,” Louis cleared his throat. “Would it be weird if I…” He didn’t finish the sentence; he kinda just awkwardly stuck his tongue out and hoped that Harry got the idea.

“God, Lou.” Harry just groaned. “Go on.”

Tentatively, Louis stuck the tip of his tongue out and touched it to the substance on his hand. The taste was bitter but he actually kind of liked it. Louis had tasted himself before just to see but he tasted much different than Harry. Harry was bitter and a bit salty while Louis tasted kind of sweet.

“What’s it like?” Harry asked, turned all soft again, in more ways than one.

“Different…I could get used to it.” That thought almost sends Louis into a panic. He hadn’t meant like, in a commitment way. “Anyway, I’m gonna hit the shower.”

“You don’t have to.” Harry offered, seeming to be opposed to Louis’ post coital shower for the first time. “We could just, like, you know, lay here. Together.”

“I would but um. I don’t know. I have this thing. I have to shower after. It’s a thing.” He’d stuttered over his words, hurrying to get out of his own bed. He’d tripped on his way over to get his towel and bath stuff and stubbed his toe on the desk, muttering curse words until he’d finally shut the door behind him. And then it felt like he could finally breathe.

He cried in the shower again. Harry deserved better than him. Maybe he should just tell Harry to run along with that other guy because Louis can’t manage to do anything with Harry without feeling sad afterword, and even crying on occasion. He hated that he had to turn Harry down but he just couldn’t be in that room anymore. And it wasn’t even Harry’s fault. He loved Harry, like a best friend, it was just. Something inside of him was different after they fooled around.

When he finished with his shower, he quietly dressed. Harry was asleep on his bed, snoring loudly but still somehow managing to look adorable and sexy. He was still naked and covering in drying come so Louis wiped him down and covered him up. He wanted so badly to get under the covers and cuddle with Harry but something was holding him back. He couldn’t even look at the somehow still innocent-looking boy without wanting to cry again. So he tiptoed up three flights of stairs, up to Liam’s room. His roommate was out again thankfully so that meant their door was unlocked.

“Liam?” He whispered into the darkness of Liam’s room. There were snuffling sounds and bit of movement but no reply. Louis decided fuck it and ventured into the room anyway.

He pulled back Liam’s covers and invited himself in.

“Whaa..?” Liam sleepily woke up, arm instinctively going around Louis. He seemed to just sense that it wasn’t his usual late night cuddler, right away. “Who?” His eyes snapped open.

“How do flags say hi to each other?” Louis whispered into the darkness, glad that Liam hadn’t kicked him out.

“Louis, seriously? What’s going on why are you in my bed?”

“They don’t say hi, they just wave to each other. Isn’t that ridiculous?” Louis chuckled. “Harry told me that one.”

“C’mon Tommo what’s – “

Louis couldn’t help it, he just started crying. Not loud, soul wracking sobs, just enough that his ugly cry-face came out. Lucky for him, it was dark so Liam couldn’t see. He didn’t know why he was crying, he didn’t know why this whole thing made him sad, so he didn’t answer when Liam asked what was wrong. So Liam stopped asking, instead he just held Louis and rocked him.

“Shh, hey, it’s going to be okay. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”

And that’s how Louis fell asleep.

-

They didn’t talk about it. Liam just seemed to sense that Louis didn’t want to talk about it. And for that, Louis was grateful. Like, what would he even say? Sorry, it’s just, I cry after every time with Harry because I’m such a girl I can’t handle it. But even that’s a lie because Louis can totally handle it. He can do this.

Things with Harry got slightly awkward after Louis bailed on him but they eventually got back into the groove of things. School kept getting in the way so they barely had time to hang out together, aside from Delta meetings or the occasional down time in the caf. But Harry kept giving him these smiles and Louis knew that he was thinking of the times in their dorm room when the lights were all off and so were their clothes. Louis grinned back at him every single time.

Louis tried out for the play and didn’t make it. He spent the whole weekend off with Niall getting wasted. This time though, he made sure that Niall confiscated his phone so he wouldn’t call anyone and proclaim his love for them or something stupid like that.

Again, he managed to find a guy to chat up. Things got heated fairly quickly due to the level of intoxication of both of them and before he even realized it, Louis and the random guy were in a room all alone. The guy (Brian, Brandon maybe?) got as far as taking off both of their shirts before Louis couldn’t take it. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Harry was supposed to be the one getting naked with him. That was their thing. He felt like he’d cheated on Harry.

“Tell me something,” Zayn had said to Louis during lunch one day.

“Honey bees have hair on their eyes.” Louis replied.

“Quit your shit talking.” He’d smiled though so Louis knew he wasn’t being legit. “So Liam and I are…you know, dating – “

“Shocker! I most definitely did not see that one coming!” Niall laughed brightly.

“Shut the fuck up. I hate you both.” He sighed lightly. “Anyway, so I want to take things to the next level and I don’t know how to.”

“Wait, I thought you two already had sex?” He specifically recalled Liam telling him about that.

“Oh they have,” Niall confirmed. “I can’t tell you how many times I had to watch Zayn limp into the room and struggle to get up on the top bunk. He’s not used to being on top.”

As a form of retaliation, Zayn picked up Niall’s chicken and licked it. “Take that!”

“Heyyyy,” He whined.

Louis just sat back watching as the roommates fought and bickered lightly at each other. Eventually though, he butt in. “Hold on, what are you taking to the next level if you have already had sex?”

The two immediately went still.

“I want to tell him that I love him.”

A silence settled over the three of them.

“I don’t know mate, have you tried just telling him?”

“No,” Louis interrupted, “You should paint him another painting. But be more obvious this time. I’m telling you, dramatics is the best way to go with this. Liam will love it.”

Niall snorted but Zayn was nodding, seemingly already formulating a plan. You’re welcome, Liam.

-

“Hey Louis?” Harry asked, kissing down Louis’ neck.

“Hm?” He had his eyes blissfully closed as they snogged for the third time that night. Harry had already sucked him off once that morning and it was looking like a he was going for a repeat.

“Come home with me for Spring Break? My mom’s been dying to meet you, especially after you got Gemma to come up for my birthday.” He sucked harshly on the spot that always made Louis’ knees go weak. “Please?”

“Yeah,” Louis agreed breathily. “S-sure.”

Harry smiled at Louis like he’d just told him that he won Master Chef or some shit (Harry was a Culinary Arts major and had admitted on several occasions that he would let Gordon do anything to him. Louis didn’t like that so much). And then he was kissing down Louis’ chest, avoiding Louis’ nipples (he didn’t like them to be played with, okay?) and spending extra time on Louis’ tiny little tummy. He had admitted to Harry that he was insecure about his stomach so of course, Harry had spent nearly ten minutes solid just loving on his stomach and apparently was planning in doing that every time he was near it. The whole thing just made Louis feel weird. But he liked it.

Louis was sure if there were like, blow job contests that Harry would win, hands down. They’d only done it like this three times but Harry was just naturally good at it. He sucked Louis’ cock like he lived for it. The first time, Louis came faster than he ever had before.

“Babe,” Louis croaked when Harry sank down on Louis’ length, lips wrapped around him in a vice grip. One of his hands was tangled into the mop of curls, fingers flexing to keep from pushing Harry down.

Harry moaned around his length, the vibrations making Louis cry out, hips bucking involuntarily.

“FUck sorry,” Louis apologized, smoothing his hand over Harry’s hair. Harry’s throat constricting around Louis was driving Louis mad, he couldn’t take it. It was embarrassing as fuck, but he was already close. Especially so when one of Harry’s hands lightly squeezed at his balls. “More, fuck, please.”

Harry sucked harder, sucking the moans right out of Louis. He was honestly surprised that neither of the guys that lived in the rooms next to theirs had complained about noises. Louis momentarily wondered if it was obvious that it was two guys doing things in their room. There were moments when both of them sounded slightly girly, but could they actually pass for girls?

Harry pulled off to suckle at the head and tongue at his slit and Louis was arching his back, legs spread wide. Fuck, he was going to come soon. So soon, too soon.

“Shit, Harry, too soon.” He hadn’t even meant to say it out loud, but something about receiving a mind blowing blow job shattered his brain to mouth filter.

“God, please, I need it Lou.” Harry’s voice was so fucking wrecked, oh god. “Need to taste you.”

“Hazza, baby,” Louis moaned weakly, feeling his orgasm hit him like a motherfucking freight train.

Harry swallowed everything. If Louis’ cock weren’t so spent, he’d probably be getting hard again just from the sight of Harry swallowing his come. And even more so, when he missed just a bit so it dribbled down his chin. Louis gladly leaned up and licked the rest of himself from Harry’s chin.

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispered once he’d finished Harry off with a hand job.

“Why?” Harry was still mostly in his post orgasmic state of bliss. But he did seem to note that Louis hadn’t run off to the shower yet.

“Because I haven’t you know…given you a blow job.” He admitted, looking away from Harry.

“Hey, it’s fine.” He rubbed at Louis’ bare arm. “You aren’t ready for it. I’ve basically been wanting to suck your cock since the first moment that we saw each other. I couldn’t wait to get down on my knees for you.”

“God Harry you just can’t say things like that.” Louis’ cock twitched weakly in interest.

“I can’t? I’m sorry, I swear I won’t bring it up again – “ He was backtracking, blushing adorably.

“No, no, don’t. When I say that I mean, say things like that all the time.”

“Oh.” Harry waited a beat. “Stay with me tonight?”

Louis decided fuck it. He flopped down next to Harry, unsure of how to do this. Did Harry want to be the little spoon? Would Louis even be able to pull off being that big spoon considering that Harry was considerably bigger than him?

Harry laid practically on top of Louis, tucking his face into Louis’ neck and throwing a leg over Louis’ waist. It was peaceful. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry, holding onto him tightly. The sad feeling he usually felt was still there but it was so slight, he barely even realized it.

“I should have returned the favor though.” He whispered, not even expecting Harry to hear him.

“That’s not how it works, Lou.” Harry yawned into his neck. “You don’t owe me one just cause I gave you one.”

“But I do. You do me, I do you.” Louis tried. It’s not that he didn’t want to do it for Harry. It was just, Harry had pulled it off without a hitch. Come to find out, Harry didn’t have a gag reflex. Louis, however, had a very sensitive gag reflex and he really, really didn’t want to puke in Harry’s lap.

“No, Louis, that’s not what this is about. I want to make you feel good, that’s what makes me feel good.”

“And the same with me. And I’m not doing my job.”

“This isn’t a job. And you do make me feel good, you gave a way better hand job than I do. And don’t fight me on that, I’ve given myself tons of hand jobs.”

“God, I – “ Louis cuts himself off in horror. He was just about to tell Harry that he loved him. Obviously like in a friend way but with the mood in the room, Harry probably would have taken it the wrong way. Fuck, why does he keep doing shit like this? “I guess you’re right. You’re so awesome Harry. I hope you realize how lucky I am to have you. As a roommate.”

“I could say the same to you.”

-

“Mate, you should come by my Uncle’s on Friday. It’ll be the first Spring Break bash, we can get totally smashed.” Niall exclaimed over their last group dinner.

“Um,” Louis cleared his throat. “I’m actually going home with Harry so.”

“Oohhhh,” Zayn sneered as if he knew something that no one else did. “Ow.”

Did Harry just kick him under the table? Serves him right!

“Louiisss,” Niall whined. “You’re the only mate that will drink with me. The rest of these guys are losers.”

“You literally have like a thousand friends.” Louis spoke over the jeers that the other three were throwing at Niall.

“Yeah but you four are my main mates, my life mates. It’s different.” He continued complaining but Louis was distracted by the way that Harry was just grinning down at his Chicken Parmesan. It was his million dollar smile, complete with dimples and all. His favorite. Especially since he had an inkling that it was possibly caused by himself.

Louis threw an arm around Harry’s shoulders because that’s what friends do. The way that Harry leaned into him and Louis’ heart hammering in his chest. For some reason he really, really wanted to hold Harry’s hand. They’d done that a few times, mostly when Harry gave Louis head because Louis needed some kind of intimacy and that felt right. But right there in the dining room on campus, Louis wanted to hold Harry’s hand and hope that that other guy saw and got jealous.

“When do the two of you head out then?” Liam asked, cuddling into Zayn. They’d recently gone public with their relationship. Louis guessed that the painting thing worked like a charm. He was happy for them but every time they got all couple-y in public, it had a weird feeling twisting in Louis’ stomach.

“Louis’ driving us so we can leave whenever. What do you think, Lou?”

“Yeah,” Niall said, making googley eyes at Louis. “What do you think Lou?”

“Piss off.” Louis defended Harry like it was second nature. “We’ll probably leave after Harry’s morning class tomorrow.”

Louis made a mental note to defend Harry more often. As soon as they got back, Harry shoved Louis up against the wall and sucked him off. Louis could barely stand through it; his legs literally gave out when he came down Harry’s throat.

The drive to Cheshire the next morning was actually a lot of fun. He got to make fun of Harry for the hipster music he listens to and then he made it up to Harry by snogging the living daylights out of him. Harry kept rambling on about how much fun they were going to have, he was going to meet Anne, Harry’s mom, and they were going to go by the bakery he worked in during high school and the park by his house that he grew up playing at and everything.

Louis didn’t know why he was so nervous to meet Anne. It was just like when he met Stan’s mom for the first time. But this was different somehow. Granted, he and Stan never fooled around but that didn’t mean anything, it wasn’t supposed to mean anything.

Harry was practically tackled by women the second that he walked through the door.

“You must be Louis,” A gruff type of man said, holding out his hand. This must be Robin.

“Yes sir,” Louis said, shaking Robin’s hand firmly.

“None of that! Call me Robin.” He smiled and Louis could already see why it didn’t take long for Harry to like this guy.

“So, Louis, right?” Anne (well, he assumed) spoke up, disentangling herself from her son.

“Yes ma’am.” Louis was surprised when she pulled him into a hug.

“We’ve heard quite a bit about you.” She shot Harry a smile and Harry was blushing at the tips of his ears.

“I know, we hear more about Louis than Harry. This one never shuts up about you.” Gemma threw an arm around Harry, soaking up his embarrassment.

“Haha,” Louis chuckled awkwardly, not really sure how to respond to that.

“Well come on into the kitchen, I’ve made tacos.” Anne gestured for them all to follow her.

“I’ll take your bags up to Harry’s room.” Robin offered, taking the bags from Louis’ shoulders.

Dinner was a lot less intense than Louis had thought it’d be. Harry’s family was just as laid back as he was, which Louis guessed he should have seen coming. After the questions about his major and his campus life, they mostly just ate quietly. It wasn’t even really awkward, everyone was just busy devouring the delicious tacos that Anne had made.

Louis decided that he loved Harry’s family. They were quick to accept him in as one of their own. And they watched all of the Spiderman movies after dinner which were his favorite (he had a sneaking suspicion that Harry put them up to it though). By ten, Robin and Anne had retired to their room and Gemma had fallen asleep on the couch.

“Wanna head up?” Harry asked, head still leaning sleepily on Louis’ shoulder.

“Sure.”

Harry covered Gemma up and then led Louis up to his room.

“Do you want to um, share the bed?” Harry awkwardly asked as the two of them shimmied into their pajamas.

“Yeah,” He didn’t even realize he’d already agreed to it.

“I’m not tired.” Harry admitted once the two of them were situated on his bed.

“Me either.” Louis hesitated. “I could…suck you off.”

“Louis you don’t have to – “

“I want to. I want to try. I may not be as good as you are but I want to try it.” It was true. He’d been mulling it over and he may as well try. Worst case scenario is that he pukes on Harry and they never talk again. Which would be horrible but at least he’s prepared for it.

“Are you sure babe?” It was the first time that they’d used the pet name when they weren’t in the throes of sexual relations. Louis liked it.

“Mhm.”

Louis straddled Harry’s legs, kissing him fiercely. He didn’t even bother with taking off Harry’s clothes, he just pulled down his pajama pants enough that Harry’s mostly soft cock was revealed. He was nervous. He really wanted to do a good job for Harry, to take care of him like Harry had done for him.

He hesitantly pressed a kiss to Harry’s shaft, already loving the way that Harry was getting worked up. He was already thickening up pretty impressively. Although it only reminded him of how big Harry really was. Eight inches, would that really fit in Louis’ mouth? He’d sure as hell try to make it fit.

He opened his mouth, tucking his teeth behind his lips and took Harry’s head into his mouth. He was already producing precome so Louis busied himself with licking that up. Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“Shit.” Harry quietly cursed, hand flying to Louis’ hair.

Louis felt encouraged and slid his mouth down, taking Harry farther into his mouth. The second that he touched the back of his throat, Louis started gagging and choking. He didn’t pull off though. He’d been reading up on it and most people had that if you just swallow around it, you’ll eventually get used to it. So he swallowed and went down further. But the second that Harry actually slipped down his throat, Louis’ stomach jerked violently and Louis pulled completely off, coughing and spitting everywhere, it was too much.

“Louis, are you okay? Louis? Hey, come on, it’s okay,”

Louis was mortified. He couldn’t even talk for fear of the revisit of the lovely tacos that Anne had made. He just shook his head, pushing Harry away when he tried to embrace him.

Eventually it went quiet. Louis laid down on his side, facing away from Harry, still unable to look at him. Harry was still lying on his back, cock back under cover of his sleep pants.

“I’m sorry.” Harry apologized.

“Why?” Louis croaked, not thinking of any way this could possibly be Harry’s fault.

“I shouldn’t have pressured you. I should have known you didn’t want to – “

“That’s just it though,” Tears were starting to fall from his eyes; unfortunately, he was fucking crying in Harry’s childhood bed instead of giving him an amazing blowjob. “I did want to. And I f-failed…I’m so embarrassed.”

“Lou,” Great, now Harry sounded like he was close to tears. This time when Harry’s arms wrapped around him, he didn’t fight it. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s okay – “

“No it’s not. How can I be a gay man if I can’t suck cock?”

“Louis I hate to say this, but your view on this is really warped. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you have to like giving blow jobs. There are plenty of people out there who don’t like it.”

“I never said I was gay.”

“Well,” Harry sighed. “My point still stands. And hey, no one is perfect their first time.”

“You were.”

“Louis,” Harry was trying to be stern but Louis could hear the smile in his voice. “What I’m saying is that it doesn’t have to be one and done. We can try again.”

“I’m honestly not up for it right now, my stomach feels queasy.”

“I didn’t mean right now. But…if you want I can make you feel better.” Harry’s sexy voice was really hard to resist.

“I’m sorry Harry, I’m just not in the mood anymore.”

“Okay, well I’ll just hold you then.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“That was horrible.” Maybe, but it made Harry laugh.

-

The next night, they tried again. And Louis wanted it so badly; he went even harder than the night before. This time, he actually had to run to the bathroom. As he cried, for the second time in front of Harry, Harry just held him. It was lovely. Nothing had ever felt more right.

“You know,” Harry said, nervous edge to his voice. “We could always try … the other form of oral sex.”

“What do you mean?” Louis’ tired and emotional brain wasn’t making the connection.

“Like, you know. I mean you don’t have to. Some people think it’s gross. But if you wanted to, I’d be up for it. Either way it goes.”

“Harry, I’m confused.”

“Like we could…eat each other out. I mean I’d be up for giving or receiving, whatever you’re comfortable with. If you are. Or if you’re not, we can just pretend that I never said anything.”

“You’d really want to do that with me?” Louis asked incredulously. He had no idea people actually did that, he thought it was just a porn thing.

“If you want to…do you think I’m gross?” Louis really admired the way that Harry could just let himself be vulnerable like that.

“No, god, I would love to try that with you.” Fuck it, Harry was being vulnerable, he would too. “Either way for me too.”

“I can’ wait.” Harry held him tighter.

Louis really could get used to this.

The next day, Louis and Harry had gotten back from the park to find that the house was completely empty. Anne had gone to the store, Robin was at work, and Gemma was out with friends.

As soon as they realized this, all they had to do was look at each other and then they were on the same page. Harry pulled Louis up the stairs, excitement in the air. Their clothes were getting taken off in a rush, no preamble to what they were about to do. Louis was zinging with excitement.

And then they were both naked on Harry’s bed, snogging heavily.

“How,” Harry said between kisses. “How do you want to do this?”

“I,” Louis hesitated. “Would it be okay if you…if you do me? I’ll get you back for it, I promise.”

“Of course.” Harry moved on top of Louis, gently spreading his legs so he could fit himself between them.

It all seemed a bit rushed but it felt so perfect, so right that Louis didn’t try to slow it down. Harry kissed down his chest, much like he had the times when he’d sucked Louis off. Only this time he avoided where Louis had gotten mostly hard. He kissed lightly at his balls and then he was going a bit lower.

“Can you spread your legs a bit more for me, baby?” Harry sounded so fucking sexy, Louis could melt.

He felt so vulnerable but he kind of liked it. He liked opening himself up for Harry to see, in more ways than one.

Louis spread his legs, holding his breath as Harry watched him.

“Beautiful,” Just one word. Just one word and Louis was gone. He felt like his heart would burst. Was this how most friends with benefits arrangements went? Louis didn’t really think that term described them anymore. They were very best friends with sexy times. Or something.

The first touch is like velvet. It’s just a small kiss to his entrance, but it takes Louis’ breath away. The first lick is small, tentative, but it felt so good.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes, very okay.” Louis’ pitch had already raised and he just knew that things were about to get really loud.

Harry seemed to take Louis’ words as encouragement because he leaned back in and then things got serious. Louis felt him lick at his hole again, before swirling his tongue around.

“Oh g-god, I like this. Harry, I like this a lot.”

It felt like Harry was making out with him down there, it was glorious. He couldn’t help the pitiful whines and moans that escaped. His thighs were already trembling.

“Hold on, hold on,”

“What, is everything okay?” Harry immediately became concerned.

“Yeah, I just need a second to calm down. You literally just started and I’m about to come.” He admitted with blushing cheeks.

“Or I could see if I could get you to come within the next two minutes.” The challenge that passed through Harry’s eyes was unmistakable.

“O-okay.”

Louis got a hand on himself and spread his legs as wide as they would go, thinking he quite liked the visual of Harry between his spread legs, between his spread arse cheeks.

Harry absolutely went to town. Louis wasn’t even sure what he was doing with his tongue, all he knew was that it felt so fucking good, his toes were curling. He was wanking as fast as his arm would allow. And sure enough, he felt the familiar tug in his stomach.

“Harry, I think it’s time, I’m this is the fastest, Harry I can’t, I don’t know,” Louis was babbling, mouth running quicker than the speed of his heart. Louis started grinding his hips back onto Harry’s tongue, moaning delicately and brokenly.

“Boys are you in – oh dear god, I’m sorry, I’ll just go back – yeah.” Anne had walked in them. And just as Louis was about to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! This took way too long but it's here now! It's also a piece of shit and I am not happy with it and ugh I'm just sorry.  
> In other news, I NEED A BETA AS YOU CAN TELL. If you are interested, please let me know asap. Like seriously. I am desperate.   
> I hope you all like this!  
> Visit [My Tumblr](http://larryismyotpuniverse.tumblr.com/) if you wish! Have a lovely day

“I’m never going to be able to look your mom in the eye ever again. She probably hates me now.” Louis wallowed miserably, knees pulled to his chest on Harry’s bed.

“She won’t, I promise. This isn’t the first time that this has happened.”

“Oh quit your shit talking. We both know that you’re way more virginal than I am and that’s saying something.” Louis shoved at Harry’s shoulder, smiling just a bit.

“I’m offended.” Harry scoffed. “Anyway though, she won’t hate you, she already told me that she loves you. And technically neither of us is virginal anymore.”

“Was that before or after she caught us with your tongue in my arse in your childhood bed?” Louis asked sarcastically. “And technically we’re both still virgins so.”

And then a truly awkward silence set over them. Louis wanted to punch himself even more. Of course he’d had to bring that up. Dammit. Now all he could think about was doing that with Harry. Would it be like how it was earlier? With Harry between his legs? Would Louis saddle up and ride? Fuck, would Harry? Holy shit. Would Harry be the one spreading his legs? Oh holy mother of baby Jesus. Fuck, no. No, he could not be getting hard again. No.

“Are you…?” Harry asked uncertainly, watching as Louis covered up his lap.

“Shut up. Go away.” He shoved at Harry’s shoulder, not as embarrassed about it as he probably should have been. Like they hadn’t even talked about that yet. Would they even do that? Did Harry want to? He might have thought a little bit more about bringing it up but he’d had enough embarrassment in Harry’s room for a lifetime.

“Well, I would take care of that for you but dinner’s probably gonna be ready soon.” Harry just chuckled at Louis, getting up off of his bed to head downstairs.

“Is there any way that you could bring a plate up here for me? I wasn’t kidding earlier you know.”

“C’mon, you can’t hide from her for forever.”

“I most certainly can.”

“Just,” Harry pulled Louis up. They just stood looking at each other for a few intense moments. Their breath was mingling together, lips naturally just finding each other. Harry went straight for a snog, sucking at Louis’ tongue in a way that had him instantly melting. And then just as suddenly, he pulled away. “Come downstairs with me?”

“Okay,” Louis agrees, eyes still closed.

-

“Hope you saved room for dinner.” Is the first thing that Anne says when she sees the two of them coming towards the table. She’s smiling so widely though that Louis knows that she didn’t mean it in a hateful way. It still makes Louis blush red as a rose. Harry blushes too, so at least Louis isn’t alone in his embarrassment. 

The rest of dinner actually isn’t as awkward as Louis had thought that it would be. Robin talks most of the time they’re at the table, going on about his work and then about how he wants to buy a new truck. Louis couldn’t stop stealing little glances as Harry across the table. And every time, he caught Harry looking right back at him.

“Harry,” Anne said once dinner had been cleared away from the table. “Robin wants you to go with him to get the part for our new sink, you don’t mind do you Louis? Being here without Harry.”

“Oh no, that’s fine, that’s, yeah.” He couldn’t form a normal sentence around her. He still wasn’t able to even look her in the eye.

After Harry and Robin leave, Louis just awkwardly twiddles around in the living room, not really watching what is on the t.v. He’s distracted because he knows what this is. Anne wants to talk to Louis about what happened. But the thing is he doesn’t talk about it. It was grueling to even propose the friends with benefits thing to Harry and they hadn’t talked about it since that moment. But Anne wants to talk about it. He doesn’t even know what he is going to say to her because he can’t even figure out how to say it to himself.

“Care for some tea?” Her sweet, soft voice spoke behind him.

“S-sure.” He took a steaming cup, blowing at the steam. “Is it – “

“Milk first, no sugar.” Anne confirmed, slipping into the seat on the couch next to him. “Harry’s told me about a thousand times how you take your tea.”

“Oh. Thanks.” He was planning on sitting in awkward silence next to her until she brought it up but all the sudden, his plans changed. “I’m sorry about earlier. I’m not a bad person.”

“Honey, I know.” She smiled. “I can see how good you are for him. Frankly, I’m just happy for him. He doesn’t make friends very easily; he’d worried for weeks about having a roommate. And then as soon as you two met, he wouldn’t stop talking about you. If anything I should be thanking you, you brought my boy out of his shell and put a constant smile on his face.”

Louis just stared at his lap, smiling but also conflicted. It made him so happy that he was the one that did that for Harry but he also felt like he was missing something. Like there was a piece to all of this that Harry hadn’t told him. He’d never known that Harry didn’t have very many friends before Uni, like he’d thought maybe but Anne talked about it like it was thing. Like a real thing. He realized right as Anne got up to walk away that he should have probably said thank you or something because it felt like a compliment. But he let the moment pass, lips sealed.

The rest of Spring Break went great, they did a whole lot of nothing and it was bliss. And nothing sexual either. Louis couldn’t stomach doing anything with Harry in that house anymore. However, Louis woke up in the middle of the night on their last night home and he was wrapped up into Harry’s arms, already cuddled into him. It was nice.

-

It wasn’t supposed to become a thing, Louis swears by that. But how could he say no when Harry crawls into his bed, claiming bad dreams? Fact is he liked his late night cuddling with Harry. That didn’t mean that they were like, anything more than best friends. He’d seen Zayn and Niall cuddle before so.

“So what do you say to a redo of the other night?” Harry asked, that look in his eye, when he’d come home from the food class. He smelled delicious actually.

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, knowing exactly what Harry meant.

Harry took two strides across the room and then suddenly he was on top of Louis on his bed, breath in Louis’ ear. “I want to taste you.”

“Holy shit,” Louis let out. “W-wait, don’t you want me to eat you out?”

“Yeah, some other time.”

Louis is speechless. Last time that they did this, it was rushed and sort of awkward. This time, Harry takes his time as he unbuttons and unzips the tight colored jeans that Louis was wearing.

“Should I do my shirt?” Louis asked shakily, not really helping Harry take his pants off. Something about this time just felt so different and it had nerves crawling down Louis’ skin.

Harry just looked up at Louis, smirk on his face. He lifted Louis’ shirt enough to expose his tummy. Harry had developed this odd obsession with Louis’ tummy. Louis couldn’t decide if he loved it or not and he couldn’t figure out how it made him feel. Well like, other than physically. He always got hard as a rock in no time, but his heart also would flutter every time that Harry’s lips touched his stomach.

Louis couldn’t help but feel a little awkward. Harry was sucking at the skin on Louis’ stomach while the shirt he was in was starting to get hot and his bare cock was filling.

“Harry,” He hadn’t meant for it to come out so … high pitched and well, girly, but it did. Louis was feeling a lot of things suddenly. He felt kind of overwhelmed with the knowledge that he and Harry only had two and half months left of their freshman year. Two and half months left to figure this out, what they were doing. And what they weren’t doing.

Harry seemed to get the message. He spread his legs, kissing at his thigh like he could tell that Louis was overwhelmed. Maybe he could, it was just. This felt so much more … personal than the last time they’d done this. And Louis wasn’t sure what to do with that information.

Louis was so lost in his own thought that he hadn’t prepared for the feeling of Harry’s tongue swiping across his rim. He jolted so tensely that he nearly hit his head on the headboard. And then all he could think was again, again, again.

In the midst of Harry eating him out, Louis realized that he was not straight. Bisexual at least. Or unless he could find himself a nice girl to rim him. But no, ew. Even the thought softened his dick a little. The point being, he liked his arse being played with.

When Louis glances down to watch Harry, it seemed like he might die. Harry is already looking up at him, green eyes sparkling. It took Louis’ breath away. And then it was like a switch was flipped inside of Louis. He’d never been one for the rough stuff but he honestly couldn’t help it. One hand gripped at the fringe that had fallen into Harry’s face while his hips ground dirtily against Harry’s tongue.

“Fuck yeah,” Louis grunted, soaking in the submissiveness that was Harry. “Harry, oh god, Harry,”

Louis could see that Harry had raised his hips up enough to get a hand around himself, relieving some of the pressure. Harry was fisting himself while Louis was grinding on his tongue. The sight was very hot needless to say and Louis was suddenly close.

“Harry, I’m gonna come soon, i-is that okay?” Louis wasn’t sure why he was asking. Just a moment ago, he was the dominant one between the two of them. He wasn’t sure that this was how these things went. One of them was supposed to be dominant while the other was submissive. And the submissive one had to be on the bottom. This was why Louis tried to maintain a dominant stance. He was failing but. He always failed at things when it came to Harry. He never knew how to get it right.

“Yeah babe,” Harry murmured, breath tickling Louis’ hole. He kissed up, away from Louis’ hole, causing Louis to whine in a pout. But then Harry was sucking lightly at his tightened balls and whispering, “Want to see you come on my tongue.” And then Harry was back at his hole, licking at him mercilessly.

“Harry, Harry, Harry,” Louis was continuously crying out, body gone slack and tense at the same time. His hips were no longer canted up, raising ever so slightly, thigh muscles tight. And then his orgasm washed over him like a shower after a long football game, sweet, sweet relief.

Louis zoned out for a while after that. He was vaguely aware of Harry fucking his fist until he came all over Louis’ stomach but he was too spaced to really help. Which, he felt bad about that but he couldn’t concentrate on anything at the moment.

“That,” Louis finally stated blissfully, “Was the best orgasm of my life.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, breath of a chuckle in his voice, but also smug as fuck. Harry was cuddling him, like a proper big spoon and it wasn’t necessarily the first time but it felt different. Louis didn’t want to run off to the showers. Well, he kind of did, but mostly because he was covered in come.

“Harry,” Louis said into the dark of the room a few minutes later.

“Yes love?”

“Where are you at? Like with this – you know, like. We are experimenting and stuff and I just wondered if you’d, you know, figured it out yet.” He hated how vulnerable he sounded but he had to ask.

“I’m um – do you not want to do this anymore?” Harry sounded so panicked, Louis felt bad.

“No, it’s not that I swear. I could do this for –” Louis cleared his throat. “I do want to continue … this. I just was wondering because I’ve been kind of thinking about it.”

“Thinking about what?” He sounded so hopeful which slightly confused Louis.

“Harry, why are these talks always so difficult?” Louis sighed, throwing his hands into the air because he was a dramatic person. “I mean like I’ve been thinking about … my sexuality.”

“Oh.” There was disappointment in the air. Louis felt it, he was sure that Harry could feel it. “Yeah, me too.”

“I think I’m bisexual.” Louis says because it’s easier that way.

“Yeah, me too.”

“What’s up with you?” Louis asked, knowing that something with the way Harry was acting wasn’t right.

“Nothing, let’s just sleep.”

Louis lets the conversation drop. He had never been good with feelings anyway. When Harry finally dozed off, Louis untangled himself and headed to the showers.

-

“So Harry,” Barbra said at the lunch table the next day. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“What do you mean?” Harry seemed confused but Louis was instantly hit with a wall of jealously. Fuck this ‘lucky lady’ whoever the fuck she was.

“I came by yesterday and heard you and some girl – “

“What?” Louis didn’t even recognize his own voice.

“Yeah, she was just like ‘Harry, oh my god, Harry,’” Barbara’s impression was funny. Louis probably would have laughed if he weren’t preoccupied.

“That can’t be true, the only person I was even with in the room yesterday was Lou – “ He cut himself off as they both realized.

“Excuse me,” Louis got up from the table, red as a tomato, and bolted.

“Louis, wait!” Harry, of fucking course Harry would follow him. “Please, wait!”

“Go away, Harry.” Louis didn’t turn back as they made their way across campus, Harry hot on Louis’ tail.

“Babe, c’mon – “ Harry reached out and grasped Louis’ arm just as they’d reached the front doors of the boys’ dorm.

“Don’t call me that out here,” Louis turned and hissed, looking around to see if anyone saw.

“Are – are you crying?” Harry asked in disbelief. “C’mere.”

“No,” Louis denied weakly, falling into Harry’s arms anyway. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“What? I can’t hold my best friend because he’s crying. That is some shit.”

“Guys don’t do that kind of thing with.”

“Well we aren’t normal guys and I don’t give a fuck what society tells me guys should and shouldn’t do. But that aside, why are you crying?”

“Embarrassed.” Louis says, even though it’s not the full truth. He was crying for so many reasons.

“Kay well,” Harry’s voice was dripping and Louis knew what was coming next. A whisper to his ear, and they were off. “How about we try and see how girly you can make me sound hm?”

-

Eating Harry out was easily one of Louis’ favorite things. Harry was so cute and shy. Like, even more shy than Louis was probably. Maybe not. But still, he had to whisper soft words to Harry to get him comfortable with spreading his naked legs for Louis to see. And just as Louis had imagined, Harry was beautiful.

His hole was a soft pink, already twitching with anticipation. He tasted like lavender (the soap he used) and slightly, sexily, musky. Probably Louis’ favorite thing about eating Harry out was how pliant he became. It was like Harry turned into putty. Aside from the hand flailing and the random leg twitches, Harry didn’t move much, didn’t grind onto Louis’ tongue like Louis had done to him. That thought made Louis a bit self-conscious but he chose to put that aside for the moment.

As far as the sounds that Harry made, he was full of quiet whimpers and soft curse words. And he got sweaty, like not in the overly gross way, but enough that his face was red and his hair got curlier. All in all, Harry was so cute.

-

“I’m going to make you another sketch,” Zayn stated when they were in Zayn’s room, just fucking about. All the other boys were at work in the caf except the two of them and they didn’t have much to do as far as homework so they were just being bored in each other’s company.

“Sweet. Draw me a nice pair of tits.” Louis wasn’t sure why he’d said it. It came out without him thinking, really. And then the look that Zayn threw him simultaneously made Louis want to laugh and hide. “What?” Defensive, that was always the way to go. “They’re nice.”

“Yes, I love lumps of fat.” Zayn said dryly, obviously not buying Louis’ story.

“Are you gay?” Louis asked so suddenly it surprised himself. He’d always wondered though.

“No.” Zayn says it like it’s the end of the conversation. He was scribbling or sketching or whatever the fuck but Louis refused to take a hint.

“So…what are you then?”

“A human being.”

“Zayn.” Louis wasn’t sure why he was begging, didn’t know why he needed this so badly, just this little bit of information. But he was suddenly craving it so intensely that he wouldn’t give up without finding out.

“I’m bisexual.” Zayn looked up from his pad, face unreadable. “With a preference for guys.”

“How does that – I thought that. Like. Bisexual means like two. Like equal.”

“Look Louis,” He sighed, foot swinging in the air as he sat at the edge of his top bunk. “Sexuality isn’t black and white. In fact, it’s mostly grey. This isn’t some cookie cutter shit. You don’t have to slot into one of the categories perfectly. Just because you and Harry fuck doesn’t mean you’re gay or even bisexual – ”

“Oh I wasn’t – ”

“Just. You only get one life, Lou. Don’t spend it thinking about such trivial things. Just feel. Just sit back and enjoy.”

After that, he and Zayn stray away from the deep topics. They put on an old Adam Sandler movie in the background but don’t pay much attention to it. Instead, Louis watched fascinatedly as Zayn worked on a sketched cartoon version of Niall, eyes coming out of his head hilariously as he looks at the cartoon version of Barbara. Louis is so invested in watching Zayn work literal magic, two hours pass by without him realizing.

“It looks like shit.” Zayn sighed, throwing the sketch book aside as if it didn’t mean shit to him. “I can’t get it right.”

“Oh my god, Zayn, you have to be kidding. Like, that is the best sketch I’ve ever seen in my life.” Louis felt slightly furious at the fact that Zayn couldn’t see how truly talented he was.

“Well it’s nowhere near done so.” He jumped off of his top bunk, talking to Louis as he made his way towards his door. “I’ve got to hit the loo really fast. Liam said he’d call so if he does call while I’m gone, you can answer it, don’t want him thinking that I’ve ignored him.”

“Kay,” Louis agreed off handedly, thinking about the school work he’ll probably get assigned to the following day. Pre calc was brutal, he was barely maintaining his low B.

Zayn had only been gone for a handful of moments when his phone vibrated. Automatically, Louis picked it up, ready to answer the call. Except, it wasn’t a call. It was a text. Louis opened it, fully intending on sending a prank text to Liam.

And then he opened the text and literally screamed. Liam sent a mother fucking dick pic. ‘Jst got of work. Im s hard 4 u babe’ Holy shit, no. No, no, no. God, erase, reboot. He just saw Liam’s dick.

Another swirl of insecurity swirled through Louis. No wonder Zayn limps around after they do stuff. Fuck he’s huge. Louis then just feels weird. It’s not that he’s turned on by Liam, which would be weird as fuck. It’s just that. It’s a hard dick. Suddenly, he wanted Harry to hurry back from work so that they could disappear to their room and have a bit of fun.

Zayn reappeared moments later, whistling to himself happily. His whistle fell short when he saw the text, probably not realizing that Louis had seen it. Or if he did, he certainly didn’t comment on it. He just got all flustered which had Louis about ready to get up and take off to his own room, but right as he opened his mouth to bid Zayn goodbye, Niall, Liam, and Harry all burst through the door.

Louis avoided Liam’s barely repressed lustful gaze. Instead, he caught Harry’s eyes. For a moment, the two of them just stared at each other. It was like one of those moments in that American t.v. show How I Met Your Mother, the telepathic conversations. Or maybe not because instead of the two of them escaping to fool around in their room, Harry flopped down on Niall’s bunk, letting out an exhausted sigh.

“Work fecking blowed dick tonight.” Niall sounded exhausted as well, filing through their mini fridge for an energy drink.

“All the dish boys called in,” Harry offered, pulling his fingers through his greasy curls. Still hot, Louis reasoned.

Liam didn’t say much. He and Zayn were off in their own world and Louis was trying his hardest to not think about the sexual tension between them.

“Hazza,” Louis said suddenly. “I’m headed up. You coming?”

“Yeah actually,” He slowly got to his feet, stretching out his long body. “I’m bloody tired.”

“Sure yeh are.” The teasing response came from Niall, who was waggling his eyebrows at them as he opened up his laptop. “Someone’s getting laid tonight.”

“Someone’s not getting laid tonight.” Louis bit back, teasing obviously.

“I’ll have you know – “

“Bye!” Louis yelled over the grossness that Niall was about to explain.

As he and Harry walked to their room, it became obvious just how tired Harry was. He was walking even slower than normal. It was adorable.

Once they were in the room, Louis jumped on Harry. He pushed him down onto Harry’s bottom bunk, thighs bracketing his hips.

“Louis,” Harry started, interrupted by Louis grinding down on him.

“Like that?” He was smiling for some reason. Louis wasn’t sure what exactly caused him to go all cheesy face but it made the corners of Harry’s mouth perk up. And then of course, Louis ruined it by attacking Harry’s mouth. He regrets nothing.

“Lou,” Harry tried again, hand pushing firmly against Louis chest.

“Hm?” His lips had travelled down to Harry’s neck, pouting at the distance between them.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“What?” Like seriously. What?

“Just, not tonight yeah?”

Louis couldn’t help the way that his face fell. Did he do something wrong? Was he too aggressive? Was it because he had a small cock? Was it – oh god – was it the other guy? Or even worse, did Harry realize he was straight?

“It’s not – I’m just tired.”

“Oh.” He tried to sound casual, he really, really did. Unfortunately, he was unable to act around Harry. It was a blessing and a curse. He crawled off of Harry’s lap, awkward and unsure. He’d never been rejected in this way before. In his mind, doubts and insecurities were flying around tormenting him for all that he was and all that he’ll never be.

“Lou,” A soft, gentle hand brushed over his pink cheek. “It’s not you, I promise. I really am tired. Work was – “

“Brutal, I know.” He spoke fast, wanting this to be over. He wasn’t good with vulnerability and he felt pretty damn vulnerable.

“C’mere.”

Louis fit himself into Harry’s arms, face smashed perfectly into Harry’s neck. It was quiet for a long time, almost long enough for Harry to drift off. But Louis wasn’t super tired. So he just started talking.

“I took a shit down a slide once.” He said into the darkening room. Luckily he had Harry to turn the lights off for him. He would always get in so much trouble as a kid because he’d forget and fall asleep with his bedroom light on.

“What the actual fuck?” He laughed and Louis could feel the vibrations on his lips. For some reason, it sent swirling feelings to Louis’ stomach.

“Yup. I was like thirteen, playing with my mates at the park. Had to go and I knew I wouldn’t make it home in time. So I pulled down me trousers and just had at it.”

“That is disgusting.”

“Hey,” Louis protested, smiling into Harry’s neck. “I’ve never told anyone that before and you have to go and shit all over that.”

“I am physically restraining myself from making puns simply to tell you that I am thankful you felt like you could tell me. It means a lot to me.”

“Yeah well,” Louis shrugged. “You mean a lot to me.”

-

Three days later, Harry got a call.

Louis was in the middle of his dead boring history class when he got the text.

‘I need you’

That was all it said. Instantly, Louis could tell that it was serious. Harry never sent him things like that.

‘What’s up?’ He sends back, already beginning to pack up his things to leave class early. As much as he hated that class (and all of his classes that weren’t related to his major) he still hated missing class or leaving early.

‘Please just come. I’m outside the student library’

‘On my way’

He isn’t much of a runner, hates exercise – hence the dreadful tummy – but he ran to the student library. And there was a hill. But none of that mattered to Louis, all he could think of was a distraught Harry needing him.

When Louis finally got there, most likely about seven minutes later, Harry was sat on the steps, knees to his chest.

“Harry!” Louis called, speeding up just a bit more to close the last bit of distance between the two of them.

Immediately, Harry got up and fell into Louis’ arms. “Louis, I’m s-sorry,” He was crying, that much was obvious. “I – I,”

“Baby,” Louis croaked, heart clenching at the sight of Harry crying. “Don’t be sorry, whatever you’re sorry for, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

People were staring at them and for the first time, none of that mattered. All it did was make Louis hold Harry tighter, the need to protect him running even higher. Harry’s face was wetly tucked into Louis’ neck, quivering lips lightly resting on his collarbone.

“I want to – can we go back to the room?” He whispered, something in Harry’s voice that he hadn’t heard before.

“Yeah c’mon sweetheart.”

Louis kept an arm around Harry all the way to the boy’s dorms. He had no idea what he was doing or how to help Harry or what the hell was even going on. He just knew that he’d do whatever it took to make it okay.

The two of them fell ungracefully onto Harry’s bunk, still holding tightly to each other. Eventually Harry’s breath evened from the harsh, instability, probably almost asleep. But Louis’ burning curiosity couldn’t be held back any longer.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” It was soft and gentle, two things that Louis rarely were.

“I was in the library working on this paper for Mullins’ class when Gemma called me. She got a job.”

“Oh that’s great … right?” Louis didn’t understand the reason for tears.

“In Japan.” And then Harry was tearing up again, squeezing at Louis’ sides so harshly, he’d probably have a bruise. “She leaves next week and I – I won’t be able to see her before she goes.”

“Hazza,” Louis kissed at the sweaty curls, hoping with all his might that he’d be able to comfort Harry. “I’m so sorry sweetie. It’s not like you won’t ever see her again though.”

“I know, it’s just. She’s my big sister and I can’t imagine my life without her.” He sounded so miserable, it literally was hurting Louis. Maybe he should have been concerned with how non-bff like this whole thing was, but he had no fucks to give at the moment.

“I know baby,” Louis cooed at him, pulling lightly at his hair until he got the message to look up. Once their eyes met, Louis softly kissed him. “You’ll be okay, I promise. And so will she. Everything works out eventually.”

“Distract me,” Was Harry’s reply. For a moment, it had Louis stunned stupid.

“What?”

“Make me forget, please.” The plea in Harry’s voice immediately had Louis’ cock perking up.

“H-how?” Obviously Louis could figure it out pretty easily but he didn’t want to do something horrible like grab Harry’s dick and be rejected again. No, he needed Harry to say it.

All that Harry did was grab Louis’ hand and kiss wetly at his fingers. He looked at Louis with big, wide eyes, so innocent yet so dirty. Something about Harry never failed to get Louis going, to get him to forget everything he’d learned along the way about how men should and shouldn’t act and how sex was supposed to go and how he was supposed to act with Harry. All of that, gone.

“Harry,” He breathed, not backing down this time. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you – to put your fingers … inside me.”

“Fuck,” Louis hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Harry took it as a rejection.

“I mean, sorry. Never mind. I’m gross for wanting that. Forget it. I can, do you want me to suck you off?”

“No, Harry, I’ll, I can. We can do that. It’s not gross. I’ll. Yeah. If, do you have any you know, stuff?”

“Do I have any lube?” Harry laughed because they were both flustered as hell, kissing Louis on the nose. Fuck that just did something to him. He watched motionless as Harry climbed out of his bed and searched through his drawer. “Least you could do is get naked.”

Louis was up in a split second, tearing off his clothes. Sure he was nervous. He’d never fingered anyone before, besides those awkward attempts on himself but they didn’t even really count because he’d never made it to the finish line. So yeah, Louis was really freaking nervous. But he felt a thrill of excitement run through him as he watched Harry pull off his tight black jeans.

“Have you done it to yourself?” Louis asked without thinking, immediately regretting it. He slapped a hand over his mouth, face drained. “Fuck, I’m sorry, that was too much. You don’t have to – “

“All the time.” Harry answered, his own face red to the tips of his ears. “When you’re gone at class. Or sometimes when you’re in the shower after we …”

Louis ignored the pang of guilt that he felt and stood up. “God, you’re so hot, Styles. How do you want to do this?”

“I um, I was thinking that I could, like, on my knees. With my arse sticking up. You know like, with my face in the pillows. Even though your pillow is lumpy and it’ll probably be weird, this whole thing will probably be weird, I make weird sounds when things are up my arse. Not that, you know I just stick things up there but I use to have this tiny, small little, well. But yeah. So um, what was the question?”

Louis felt a soft, fuzzy feeling in his stomach and he wanted to do something weird like tell Harry that he’s his best friend and that he loved him – obviously in a bro, lad, pal way. But he refrained. Instead, he took Harry’s face into his hands and kissed him fiercely.

Harry turned into putty as Louis turned him around and gently pushed him down on to the bed on his stomach. He helped Harry up onto his knees and then Louis was on his own. He had to take control even though he had no fucking clue what the hell he was doing. When he’d rimmed Harry before, it was different. It’s like a handy versus a blow job. He was nervous for the hand jobs at first but he was a hell of a lot more nervous for blow jobs (which he doesn’t think he’ll ever master) because, Harry’s cock was like, going inside him. Like, inside his mouth. And plus, Harry had rimmed him first so he kind of had something to go off of. And for some dumb fucking reason, porn never really showed fingering. It’s not that Louis didn’t know what to do, the name was pretty self-explanatory but like, he didn’t know how.

“Lou?”

“Sorry,” He calmed just a little hearing Harry’s voice. “I just, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing here. I haven’t really had much experience.”

“It’s okay, I know. I haven’t done this with anyone either – “

“No, like, not even with … myself.” He was embarrassed. Fuck, why couldn’t he just be this sexy, dominant boy – sex partner that Harry obviously wanted him to be?

“Louis, that’s okay,” Harry twisted around awkwardly, kissing Louis sweetly, comfortingly. “I can talk you through it if you want.”

“That’s – yeah.”

Louis figured out while Harry was instructing him to lube his fingers up, that Harry was a great teacher. He knew exactly what Louis needed to hear and he knew how to say it without making Louis feel stupid or incompetent. They were perfect for each other. For like, sex stuff.

Feeling Harry’s rim clench on his finger tip was much different than feeling it on his tongue. Fingering actually felt a little less intimate than Louis was expecting so he made sure to constantly rub a soothing hand on Harry’s back.

He pushed one finger in slowly, cock twitching at the way Harry felt. There was nothing like it. He couldn’t even describe it. Except that it was good, so deliciously good. He forgot to be careful with Harry because he was wrapped up in the tight, smoothness that was Harry. Harry didn’t seem to mind it though, he was so relaxed, and Louis actually envied him a little bit. He knew that if the roles were reversed, he would be freaking the fuck out.

Dammit Louis, he yelled at himself. He needed to quit being so damn overwhelmed and actually start focusing on making Harry feel good. Prostate, yes, that’s it, he needed to find Harry’s prostate and then things would get really good.

He started moving his finger around while also pushing it in and out. He wasn’t sure if he’d actually found it already since Harry was moaning already, loud and slightly obnoxious (but not in a bad way, it got him hard as fuck) but he also thought that maybe Harry was just loud. Like, he was loud and adorable when getting rimmed. But Louis was probably louder than him so he had no room to talk.

“Fuuuuuck,” Harry positively mewled, shoving his arse back onto Louis’ finger. “Do that, curl it – yeahhh.”

“Found it,” Louis also hadn’t meant to say that out loud but dammit, he was proud of himself. Harry felt good and it made him feel good to know that he was the one doing it. Not anyone else, just him. “Right there, babe?”

“Yeah, Louis, Louis please,” He had been reduced to grinding back onto the single digit, moaning loudly. The guys that lived next to them would complain, it was inevitability. “Do another one, please, one more.”

Louis added more lube, probably more than was needed if he were honest, and rubbed at Harry’s hole with two of his fingers. The boy had been so tight around just one of his fingers though, he was doubtful about fitting a second one in there. He’d never, ever forgive himself if he hurt Harry.

“C’mon,” Harry whined, wiggling his little bum around, trying to bring Louis’ fingers in.

“W-will they fit? You’re so small.”

“Trust me,” Harry threw him a dirty look. “They will fit.”

Even with the reply, which Louis would have to look into that later, Louis was slow. Harry was basically the one to push back on him because he was so afraid that his two fingers would hurt Harry that he wouldn’t apply any real pressure. So Harry reached back and grabbed his wrist, holding it in place as he pushed back on Louis’ two fingers.

“Yes,” Harry sighed like it was literal relief. Maybe it was. Maybe things going into the bum actually could be pleasurable and not just awkward and uncomfortable.

Louis curled his fingers again, remembering how much Harry liked Louis touching his prostate. Instantly, Harry’s thighs shook and he moaned so loud, louder than Louis had ever heard him before. Louis was fucking hard as a rock. He’d never seen Harry quite like this before, it was so fucking sexy. The way that Harry kept mewling with every push and whining with every pull, the thin layer of sweat that had collected on Harry’s back, the way his tiny, adorable little bum cheeks had turned pink as if they were blushing, the way the tips of Harry’s ears were so red, barely even visible by the disheveled mop of sweaty curls on Harry’s head, all of it, had Louis already about to blow.

Apparently he and Harry were on the same wavelength, they both reached for their own cocks at the same time. Louis could tell that Harry was really close, his balls kept drawing tighter, the tip of his cock was nearly purple and there was a puddle of precome on the bed below him. Louis was even closer. All it took was one hand shoved roughly down his pants and he was coming. He’d lost a bit of focus on fingering Harry as he powered through an amazing orgasm so by the time he came to his senses, Harry still hadn’t come. He was furiously fisting his cock, grinding back onto Louis’ fingers, desperately whining and whimpering. Louis paid extra attention to his prostate and then Harry groaned, manly and deep and came all over his sheets.

“Sorry,” Louis whispered quietly once they had settled into Louis’ bed. It wasn’t even close to dinner time yet but it was clear that they both were up for a bit of a nap.

“’F what?” Harry was already mostly asleep, head on Louis’ chest. He would probably end up drooling on Louis and it kind of alarmed Louis how much he didn’t care.

“I’m not good … at sex.” He admitted, tense with nerves. “I’ve got a small dick, I can’t even properly blow you and then I got so focused on my own … stuff that I forgot to help you along. And that’s what I was supposed to be doing in the first place. I’m such a shit – person.”

“Louis Tomlinson,” Harry sat up just enough to look Louis in the eye. God, he looked so beautiful when he was tired. “Your cock’s fine, more than fine. I love it because it’s yours and I wouldn’t change it. And babe, seriously, quit stressing about giving me a blowie, if you can’t do it, you can’t do it. There will probably be things that I won’t be able to do. I’m just glad that you’re honest with me about it. And fuck, it’s nearly impossible for the both of us to come at the same time. I would have been the same way if the roles were reversed.”

Louis shuddered lightly, thinking about what it’d be like if the roles were reversed.

“I think you’ve got some things twisted around about sex.” Harry stated, laying his head back on Louis’ chest. “One day, I’m going to teach you a lesson. Mark my words.”

-

The next week was hard for both of them. Louis had been so busy taking care of Harry and trying to remember assignments and getting to work on time, it was just crazy. Harry was going through a rough time with his sister and everything and Louis felt like it was his job to protect Harry. Even that didn’t sound right though, working at the caf that is a job. Taking care of Harry was more important to Louis than taking care of himself. So every night that Louis was woken up by quiet sobs and a wet shirt, Louis would hold Harry tight and whisper stupid shit like, ‘The first time I met you, you were crying. I wanted to hug you then.’ Or ‘It may sound … I don’t know, but when you cry your eyes look even greener , I could just stare at them forever.’ In the moment, it felt right to him. Well, those things had always been true but it felt right to be vulnerable with Harry instead of letting Harry be vulnerable alone.

The day that Gemma left was the hardest. Harry refused to get out of bed. Louis ended up stopping by Harry’s favorite bakery and buying Harry two of his favorite pastries. He stayed out of class with him and they watched rom coms on Netflix all day, wrapped up in the only blanket left that didn’t have at least one come stain on it. Which, Louis needed to Google how to get those out before Niall noticed, he’d never let them live it down. They ordered pizza and tossed the fallen sausages into each other’s mouths and gossiped over the Liam and Zayn relationship and laughed over Niall getting yelled at by his mom when she had visited (he hadn’t done any laundry in a significant amount of time). And then, of course, as most things did with them, it ended in a tickle fight.

“No more! No more!” Louis cried out, stomach aching with laughter, cheeks stuck permanently smiling.

“Say it!” Harry demanded, green eyes sparkling in a way that made it hard for Louis to breathe.

“Never!” He shouted defiantly before he was attacked again. “Okay, okay, you win.”

“You still haven’t said it.”

“Ugh Harry seriously? You’re going to actually make me say it?”

“Well you don’t /have/ to. I could just go back to tickling you.” That fucker, that absolutely annoying, lovely fucker.

“No!” Louis sighed dramatically. “You have better fashion sense than me.”

“And?”

“And I cried during The Notebook.”

“There. Was that so hard?” He was smiling so brightly it could light up the literal world.

“Even though those things are so not true,” Louis whispered, smirking up at Harry.

“What was that?” And just like that, his mischievous glint was back.

“Nothing, nothing!”

“’S what I thought.” And then Harry was leaning down and kissing Louis. This couldn’t be how normal ‘friends with benefits’ arrangements worked. Louis was beginning to wonder if he really cared. “You know,” Harry said when he’d pulled back. “Your eyes look really pretty in this light. I’m going to take a picture, don’t move.”

Harry scrambled off of his lap to grab his phone. Louis wanted to make Harry’s life harder and wiggle around and move, simply because he was told not to but he just didn’t. Just as quick as Harry was gone, he was back, camera pointing at Louis. Louis smiled big, just because he knew it’d make Harry happy.

“Beautiful,” Harry whispered, lowering his phone.

“I lo – like your phone.” Fuck, fuck, FUCK! He’d almost actually said it.

“Um thanks?” Harry mumbled out quickly. And then things got awkward so Louis hit the showers.

-

A few days later, it was just him, Niall, and Liam up in the attic of the student life center. They weren’t supposed to be up there. And they surely weren’t supposed to be up there passing around a bottle of Crown Royal. In their defense though, they weren’t that drunk, just enough to loosen up a bit.

“I fecking hate you guys,” Niall said before he took a generous gulp. Louis just chuckled while Liam looked actually offended. “You guys can feck all month long. I get shut out for a week.”

“Oh my god, Niall, seriously?” Liam rolled his eyes playfully. “At least you can get her pregnant – “

“The fuck? That is not a good thing mate.” Niall interrupted.

“Well, not now, no. But I wish some day when we’re ready that Zayn could have my babies.”

“Idiots. My best friends are all idiots.” Louis mumbled to himself fondly.

“My mom and dad still love me despite my idiocy.” Liam added and then the three of them were laughing loudly.

“Speaking of parents,” Niall sighed when the laughter had died down. “My dad is coming down soon to help me start taking things home that I don’t need. Ugh.”

“Wow,” Louis spoke softly, suddenly hurting over something that Niall couldn’t help.

“I know the school year is almost over.” He sadly pulled his fingers through his dyed blonde locks. “I honestly can’t wait to see my dad though. I miss him like crazy. He keeps texting me counting down the days until we get to see – “

“Could you,” Louis hadn’t planned on interrupting Niall so he caught all three of them off guard with his sudden talking. “Could you not talk about dads?”

“’S matter with talking about dads?” Liam looked so innocent. It was obvious that he’d never had any type of familial trouble, at least not the same extent as Louis.

“Best not push it, Louis isn’t good with feelings.” He knew that Niall didn’t mean any harm to Louis when he’d said it but it still hurt. Fuck that, he was amazing with feelings. In fact, he would tell them his whole life story and yeah. Feelings and shit.

“He left right after I’d learned how to walk, my real dad. My mom says I used to go running to the door and yell out for him, asking where he was. ‘S a bit pathetic – “

“- No it’s not – “

“Anyway. Few years later, she met Mark Tomlinson. He’s the guy that I call dad. I mean for fuck’s sake, I even took his last name. It was a toxic marriage, I see that now when I look back on it. They spent the last few years of it separated and finally last year, they divorced. They hated each other for a long time, Dad – Mark wouldn’t even come around simply because of my mom. She’s told me that he’s started coming around to see the girls but I haven’t seen him in,” Louis paused, taking a breath to calm himself. “A long time. And then, out of nowhere, this new guy, Daniel shows up and he’s, well, he’s great. But I fucking hate him. I don’t know, that’s a bit harsh. He acts like we’re fucking business partners instead of trying to act like he’s taking in a new son. But he plays the part perfectly for the girls and I don’t know. It’s not that I’m not grateful for the fact that he tries to be a father to my sisters it’s just. Sometimes I wonder, is there something wrong with me? Guys just don’t – they don’t stay. And I’m so scared of – of what could happen if I let myself love one.”

Louis wasn’t sure where in there he’d started crying but by the time he’d finished his story, Niall and Liam both had tears of their own as they group hugged him. He should have maybe realized it a long time ago, but right then it hit him, these people will be his friends for the rest of his life.

-

Work had been absolutely grueling for Louis. Like, they served steak in the caf which meant that all the athletes came in for fifths and everyone else came back in for thirds. He was running like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to juggle serving out the plates and keeping the line stocked and working with Liam and Zayn to get everything done. The end finally did come though. At 7 sharp, they closed the doors, all breathing a sigh of relief.

“I’m off to take a piss!” Louis yelled to his boss as he left the caf and headed to the restrooms.

“Lou!” Harry and Niall, along with some upperclassmen named Nathan or Nick or something were walking down the hallway, laughing loudly.

“Hey Haz,” Louis lit up like it was the Fourth of July. “I’d love to stay and chat but I really have to piss.”

“Me too.”

The two of them entered the bathroom together, Louis nearly jumping out of his skin when Harry pushed them into a stall together.

“Harry, what the – “

Harry pushed Louis’ back against the stall and sank to his knees. “I’m gonna blow you.”

“W-wait. I really have to – “

“Then do it.” There was a look in Harry’s eye, a dark, sexy look that had Louis’ heart beat racing.

“Um, I’m not really comfortable with that kind of stuff, I mean we barely just started and – “

“That’s not what I meant. Jesus. Take a piss and then I’m going to suck you off. Sex will always be awkward between us won’t it?”

Louis, red-faced and pretty embarrassed, turned to do his business. He was already starting to get decently hard, fuck, what were they doing? This was a public restroom, and he was at work for fuck’s sake! Somehow all those thoughts only served to stiffen Louis’ cock even further.

He made sure to shake himself off more carefully, so that no awkward business would happen while Harry had his mouth on Louis’ dick. He may have gotten a little carried away with it.

“Hey, save some for me,” Harry legit pouted. “I’ve been thinking about doing this since I met you, c’mon.”

“Okay, okay,” Louis pried his own hand away from himself before insecurity found him. “Wait, are you sure, I mean I literally just peed. Like.”

“Just get over here.”

Harry kissed his tip tenderly as if he were kissing his lips. It made Louis’ knees weak, both with lust and other weird feelings. Louis barely held himself up as Harry sank so far down on his cock, he swore he was going to choke him. But Harry didn’t have a gag reflex so he just kept going, driving Louis even more crazy with every attempted swallow around his cock.

“God, you’re – you’re perfect. You’re everything.” Louis was gasping and mumbling, not really in control of what he was saying. Things were just flying out of his mouth at random, but one thing was for certain, he meant every word that he said.

“I’m gonna come, oh god, Harry, I need to come.” His knees were about to give out, his entire body seemingly lit on fire with need and emotions.

Harry pulled off of Louis’ dick long enough to look him straight in the eye and say, “Come down my throat.”

A few seconds more of Harry sucking him like his life depended on it and Louis was finished. His cock pulsed come into Harry’s mouth and he swallowed it all like it was fucking the best thing he’d ever tasted. Harry Styles was going to kill him. Like, Louis would not survive.

Harry straightened up, wiped his mouth, and quickly pecked Louis on the lips. “See ya later, babe.” And then he left.

Louis was stunned. He slid down the wall, sitting there for a few moments trying to remember how to breathe. That was the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. Like, that was some porn fantasy shit right there.

“Did ya fall in?” Liam asked when Louis had finally gathered enough strength to head back into the caf.

“Sorta.” He looked faded as hell, there was no denying it. He couldn’t even come up with an awesome come back.

“Oh my god, did you just fuck in the bathroom?!” Zayn whisper-yelled.

“No, he didn’t, Louis wouldn’t – “ Liam, what a sweet boy. “You did! You little slut!”

“Hey, I’m not a slut.” He knew that Liam hadn’t meant it in an offensive way but still, he had to say something. “Well, maybe I’m Harry’s slut.”

“Stop talking. Nope. No.” Zayn held up his hands and made gagging sounds.

“Well, the only way to make things fair is if you and I go make use of the bathroom, yeah?” Liam started walking towards Zayn like he was stalking his prey.

“Get back to work you horny animals!” Their boss yelled from the dish pit, laughing loudly, especially when he saw how fucked out Louis looked.

-

“My mom says hi.” Harry mumbled, flicking through his texts as the two of them cuddled together watching some shit comedy that Louis insisted would be hilarious. It wasn’t in the slightest, but Harry still pretended to laugh, bless him.

“HI MOM!” Louis yelled for no particular reason at all.

“You know, we really should get some actual work done. Finals will be here soon and I’m not ready in the slightest.”

“Or,” Louis glanced at him, cheeks heating up. “We could do other things.”

“I’m beginning to think that you only want me for my body,” Harry pouted but threw his phone carelessly onto his bunk, launching himself at Louis.

“Well it’s definitely a plus.”

“Open up you bloody wankers!” Niall barged into the room like it was his own. “Nope, I will not let the two of you waste another weekend shagging each other. Some of us would like to party with you. Some us being me. I would like to party with you. C’mon, I got Jameson Whiskey.”

So that’s how he ended up at a house he’d never been to, chugging some drink that Niall had shoved into his hand. He was pretty fucking drunk already. Harry had gone off to the more chill section of the party, probably smoking a joint with Zayn. Liam was back at the dorms, being an actual good student and studying subjects.

“You know,” Louis hung off of some random guy. “You’re fit.”

“So are you babe,” Random guy spoke lowly, considerably less drunk than Louis. “How about a dance, hm?”

“Hahaha Harry dances the best, you know that? He’s like – he’s like when, Niall! What are you doing here?” Louis staggered where he stood close to the random guy.

“I’m getting you away from creep mccreep pants over here before you do something silly like cheat on Harry.” Niall took on most of Louis’ weight as he found a couch to deposit him on.

“He is not creepy, he’s fit.” He pointed a finger in the Irish lads face. “Niall, I like lads.”

“Yes you – “

“I like lads, Niall!”

“Mhm, here take some water – “

“LADS ARE SO FUCKING FIT!”

“You are fucking pissed mate,” Niall just laughed, nearly spilling the water he’d gotten Louis. “You need to sober up a bit or I’m cutting you off.”

“Nooo,” Louis whined, trying to get up off of the smelly couch. “Take me to Harry.”

Niall was glad to let Harry take care of Louis for a little bit so he led him straight to Harry.

“Baaaaaaaaaae,” Louis literally crashed into him on the little stoner bean bag that he was sitting on. The entire room was hazy like they were trying to hotbox the literal entire room.

Zayn burst out laughing when Louis made his grand entrance. However, he may have accidentally kneed Harry in the balls so Harry wasn’t so thrilled.

Eventually everything was chill again except Louis. He was not fucking chill. He was horny. In fact, he would have let Harry do anything to him in that moment. Literally anything. The room was spinning a bit with how horny he was. Or maybe how drunk he was. Maybe he shouldn’t have let Niall mix him some crazy shit to drink. Damn the Irish and their ability to hold alcohol.

“Babe, c’mon, ther-mph.” Harry tried to protest Louis’ insistency to fuck. “People. We’re in public.”

“Didn’t stop you in the bathroom the other day.” Louis murmured, closing his eyes as he sucked harshly at Harry’s neck.

“Louis, no.” He held firm, pushing Louis away. “You are going to regret this in the morning, I’ll bet money.”

“No regrets with you, Harry. Never.” Harry seemed to soften at that or at least it seemed like it. Louis couldn’t really concentrate over the spinning and seeing double. “Take me to the bathroom.”

“Lou, we are not going to fuck in the – “

“I don’t feel well.” Louis knew what was about to happen. It had happened to him plenty of times. If he were a bit less drunk, he’d probably lock Harry out of the bathroom but seeing as he was so drunk he could barely hold himself upright, that wasn’t really an option.

Louis didn’t remember much after that. He remembered Harry holding him while he and the toilet were getting acquainted and then he remembered seeing Liam for a flash of a second. And then he was in bed in his dorm room, drifting in and out of sleep.

“It’s getting really bad, Li.” That sounded like Niall.

“I know. Poor lad, doesn’t see what’s right in front of him.” Liam.

“I think he sees it just fine, he’s just pretending he doesn’t.” That was Zayn, couldn’t misplace his accent.

“Pretending he doesn’t what?” That’s McDreamy CurlyPants. Love.

Louis remembered laughing at himself for that and then he was out for the night.

-

“Ughhhhhh,” Louis groaned, opening his eyes and then promptly shutting them.

“Morning sleeping beauty.”

“Don’t shout.” He complained, stuffing his face into his pillow. Or maybe it was Harry’s pillow. He didn’t even know anymore.

“Listen, Lou, I’m going to head to the caf. Come down whenever you feel like.”

“Wait, are you mad at me?”

“No,” Harry sighed quietly, coming over to play with Louis’ fringe. “You’re just a bit of a mess.”

“What does that mean?” Louis tried to sit up, offended, but decided against it.

“I think you know. See you later.”

Louis did not like what he was feeling. There were a lot of things that he didn’t like that he felt actually. And then it hit him, Harry was totally right. He was a mess. He had tons of homework to do that he hadn’t even started, he got completely wasted and puked, he’s in a fucking friends with benefits relationship with his best friend and he can’t seem to stop feeling things for him. Like real, serious things and that scared the absolute shit out of him.

For a moment, Louis just sat there, numb. It was the first time that he’d allowed himself to even think it. He had feelings for Harry. Fuck, they should have never done this. Of course Harry doesn’t feel the same way. Harry’s pissed at him because he can’t get his shit together and put his fucking feelings away.

“That’s it,” Louis said aloud to himself. “Operation get rid of feelings is a go.”

-

He stayed with Liam the next few days, claiming that he needed to focus on school. Which was true but it wasn’t the truth. It proved to be a good distraction though, and it kept Liam from looking at him with that look. He hated that look.

“Louis, you’ve been on the same page for about an hour now.” He said it so softly, it made Louis want to cry. It was like Liam just knew that he was struggling. But no, he would not cry, he wouldn’t. Nope. “I’m here for you, you know. Whatever it is.”

Louis closed the script that he hadn’t been studying and set it aside. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. I’ve – “

“I’m gay.” There. He’d said it. And without shedding a single – fuck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He’d just started crying, sobbing into his hands.

“Hey,” Liam slid off of his bunk and joined Louis on the floor, surrounding him in a hug. “It’s alright, Louis, don’t cry.”

“I – I” He couldn’t calm himself down enough to even finish his sentence.

“Look at me, no, seriously look at me.” Liam waited patiently, tears in his own eyes. “You know that Zayn and I are together. I’m as gay as the gold at the end of the rainbow. C’mon, you know that we all love you. And we’ve known about you and Harry for a while now, nothing has changed. Look at me, nothing changed okay?”

“I love you Liam.” He whispered, relaxing into Liam’s arms.

“I love you too, Louis.”

The next day Louis and Zayn were off again. He could tell that he and Liam were fighting because of the fact that Zayn actually agreed to take Louis out for a joy ride in the Lambo that he’d gotten as a birthday gift. He even let Louis drive, which is definitely saying something.

“If you wreck my car, I will murder you in your sleep.” He’d grumbled, jumping in the passenger seat.

“Thank you Zaynie!”

“And don’t call me Zaynie.”

It was fucking excellent. It was such a smooth ride, way better than the piece of shit that was handed down to Louis after Daniel bought him mom a new car.

“So,” Louis said, turning the car off after they’d gotten back to the dorms. “What’s the matter with you and Liam?”

“What do you mean?”

“You only do reckless shit when you and Liam are at ends with each other.”

“You mean me letting you drive my car?” Louis nodded. “That’s because you and Harry seem like you’re on the rocks. I let Harry drive it yesterday too.”

“Shut up, you let him drive it before me?” He whined, pushing at Zayn’s shoulder.

“It was the only thing that got his mind off of you.”

And dammit, there were those feelings again. This was going to be harder than Louis thought.

-

“Don’t forget, your outline for the final paper is due next week! Class dismissed.”

Louis gathered up with things, planning on heading straight to the library to work on his classwork and also to continue avoiding Harry. However, that didn’t exactly happen.

“What did I do?” There Harry was, sitting on the steps outside Louis’ classroom, waiting for him.

“You didn’t do anything.” He feigned innocence.

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” He was so fierce, it automatically had Louis shrinking back.

“I – I’m not. I’ve just been – “

“’Busy with coursework’ I know. You were busy before too. How about we try the truth now?” Harry followed after Louis as he made his way outside the building.

“That is the truth. Listen, I’m headed to the library – “

“No!” He grabbed Louis’ arm, somehow staying gentle even though he was obviously angry. “Don’t walk away from me. Are you done with me? With us? Just tell me. Don’t leave me in the dark.”

“I’m not, I’m not done with you. Look Harry, I’m gay. Didn’t you hear?”

“Babe, I’ve known that you are gay. I am too – “

“Well it’s settled then. We don’t need to experiment anymore if we’ve both figured things out. I’ve got to go.” And this time, Harry let him.

The next week was really weird for Louis. He and Harry were still not on such great terms. And everyone was getting stressed out. It was officially dead week. The week before finals. A week and a half left and Freshman Year would be over. He wouldn’t see Harry or the others every single day. It was a weird feeling. But he’d come to the conclusion that he missed Harry. It was weird because they saw each other all the time and yet Louis still missed him.

“Lou, can you please cuddle me?” Harry seemed upset. Louis didn’t even think twice. He scrambled up onto Harry’s bunk and wrapped his arms around him. And for the first time, there was no awkward tension between them, they were just…them. “Gem loves her job, she seems so happy.”

“I’m sorry Hazzy.”

“It seems like everyone is happy without me, even you.”

“No,” Louis forgot all about what he was originally trying to accomplish in the past few weeks the moment that he saw a tear slip down Harry’s cheek. “I’m not happy, I’m not.”

Louis swiped the tear away and then they just lay there, staring at each other.

“What are you then?” Everything was so soft, so tender and Louis just couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t look Harry in the eye and pretend everything was okay.

“Afraid.” He admitted shakily.

“Of what?” Fuck, fuck, he was literally trembling and Harry was looking at him those beautiful green eyes.

“Of…” Louis took a deep breath and closed his eyes, willing the tears away. “Of how much it’s going to hurt when you walk away.”

“Louis,” Harry’s voice held so much hurt, it pierced straight through Louis’ heart. Here it came. Louis braced himself. This was the moment when Harry broke his heart. “I’ve only known you since August but in these short months, I got to see you. The one who is hiding behind those walls. The boy who ran after his dad after he left, the one who hates thunder storms and secretly has an obsession with Cher,” They both laugh wetly before Harry continues. “And I can promise you that I will never, ever leave you.”

“Harry, you – you make me feel like I’m fire and I just can’t stand it. God, I just. I can’t control it anymore. I’m falling for you, I can’t – I’m sorry.”

“Did you just say you were falling for me?” Harry pulled away slightly, getting a better look at Louis’ teary eyes. Louis looked away, shrugging. “C’mon, don’t shut me out again. Don’t build walls without me.”

“I did.” This was easily the most vulnerable that Louis had ever been and he hated it and loved it at the same time.

“Good,” Harry stated. “Because I’ve been in love with you for about seven years now, waiting for you to realize that you love me too.”

“What?” Doubt, that was all Louis felt. There is no way that Harry loves him back.

“I love you, you big goof.” Harry smiled cheekily at him, dimples popping out.

“Make love to me.”

Next thing Louis knew, Harry was three fingers deep in him, searching for his prostate. Apparently, it was hard to find. All Louis could think of were all the articles he’d read about how good prostate stimulation was and he couldn’t fucking wait. Except, even without the prostate stimulation, it felt good. And he was so ready to just get Harry inside him.

“I’m ready for you.” Louis gasped out, pulling Harry’s wrist away from himself.

“Are you sure you want to go all the way? Like this is your virginity we’re talking about here.”

“It’s yours too, love. And yes. I’m ready. I want it to be you, right here, right now.”

“I love you so much, Louis Tomlinson.”

“I love you too, Harry Styles.”

And then Harry was pushing his lubed cock in and stretching Louis’ virgin hole.

“It hurts,” Louis whimpered.

“Oh my god,” Harry panicked. “I’m so – fuck – I’m so sorry. Do you want to stop? What can I do? This has to be good for you too Louis, it has to or I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life.”

“Just, kiss me. Don’t move. Kiss me, be close to me.” Louis’ eyes opened when Harry literally leaned down and hugged him. The kiss he asked for came a few seconds later and then more hugging. Suddenly Louis felt so stupid for worrying about things like his size vs. Harry’s or the fact that he still can’t give Harry a blow job or how people will look at him once they know that he likes cock. None of that mattered. All that mattered was there with him, hugging him so tight that all of his broken pieces fit back together.

Louis’ rim involuntarily squeezed around Harry when he felt a pang of pleasure. Harry groaned and then started apologizing. All Louis could do was giggle. “Don’t be sorry for feeling good during sex you silly boy.”

“Sor – fuck.” Harry smiled down at Louis, eyes shining like they could light the entire earth.

“Promise me,” Louis gasped, beginning to experimentally move his hips. “That you’ll look at me like that for the rest of our lives.”

Harry punctuated the first roll of his hips with, “Forever.”

After a few rolls of his hips, Louis moved over a little and suddenly, “Ahhh, oh my god, oh my fuuuck, shit, this, this feels so good.”

“You sound so fucking hot, oh my god you’re going to make me come if you keep – “

“I’m sorry,” Louis whimpered, biting his lip harshly to hold back any more sounds.

“No, no, no, you are going to be so loud our neighbors will finally complain. Don’t be embarrassed for feeling good, didn’t you just tell me the same thing? C’mon, wanna hear you.”

“Harry, I don’t – I can’t, I’m it feels soo good.” Louis dug his fingers into Harry’s back, not sure what to do with himself. “Fuck yeh.”

“A while back when you were drunk,” Harry said through gritted teeth as he pounded into Louis. “You had a wet dream about me fucking you. I thought you were loud then, fuck, I’m so glad I was wrong.”

And for some reason, the picture of Louis writhing and moaning Harry’s name in his sleep while Harry lay next to him, probably hard and wanking, drove Louis straight over the edge. He clenched down so tight on Harry, he literally couldn’t move and then he was locked inside Louis and coming until he softened and pulled out.

“Luff you.” Louis whispered softly.

“I luff you too.” They both giggled happily as Harry cuddled in next to Louis. “This may be a little bit overdue but, Louis Tomlinson, will you be my boyfriend?”

“Just a little overdue.” Louis smiled dopily. “Of course I will.”

-

The five of them were hanging out on their last day together before summer break when Zayn pulled Louis aside.

“This is the painting I did for you. It’s shit but, you know.”

Louis looked at it, tears springing to his eyes. For the first time, he could see Zayn, like really see him. He could see how the quiet boy just saw things in other people. Everything was swirled together with all different colors, the brightest parts had five girls’ faces, the darkest parts had faceless men, and there in the sea of green was the boy he’d met on the first day of Freshman Orientation. It was perfect.

“Thank you.” He smiled so widely it hurt as he hugged.

Liam was the first among the group to leave. He hugged each and every one of them long and hard.

“Hey Li!” Louis called after him as he walked towards his parents’ car. When Liam turned back he shouted, “How do flags say goodbye to each other?”

Liam smiled and waved before turning back.

Next to leave were Niall and Zayn. Niall was crying worse than any of them had ever seen. “I love you guys so fecking much.”

“We’ll see each other in like three months, Nialler.” Harry hugged him tightly.

“Still,” He sniffed. “I’m going to miss Louis’ crazy drunk arse and you fawning over him like some twelve year old school girl.”

“Wait, they knew?” Louis asked.

“We all fucking knew. I don’t know how you didn’t, mate.” Zayn joked, hugging Louis before moving on to Harry.

Louis and Harry stood in the parking lot, watching as Zayn and Niall drove until they were out of sight.

“Well,” Louis sighed. “Are you ready to see Doncaster?” Louis smiled over at Harry.

“What if your family hates me?”

“Oh shush.” Louis swatted at him. “They won’t hate you. C’mon, let’s go load our stuff up.”

“So just so we’re clear,” Harry said as they stared at their empty room after all their things had been taken out. “You’re good with being my roommate again next year, right?”

“I’m good with everything that includes you and me in the same room.”

“You’re such a nerd.” Harry laughed.

“Yeah but you love me.” Louis gave him his cheesiest smile.

“That I do.” When Harry leaned in for a kiss, Louis stopped him.

“Wait.” He dragged them out into the hall. “I’m ready to love you outside these four walls.”

And then he reached up and publically kissed Harry. The rush he felt was amazing. The look Harry gave him was even better.


End file.
